Saturday 26 February 2011

February 26th

Jen may be right,

I have been doing some thinking about what has happened at the start of the month actually at that school board meeting with 'that' look.(1st paragraph) ‘That’ look which I thought shunned me for loving books and indoctrinating my children with them.

And here perhaps I need say the kind of thinking that happened to me; Jen put me right and told me I was probably wrong.

This whole issue came about and became particularly articulated in our home on Friday morning after I came home from dropping of Liliom at school. It has been snowing the night before and neither the janitor nor the other person trusted with shovelling snow off the paths could make it to school. They both live some 10 or 15 kms from the school and snow, especially quite some snow just makes it impossible to travel distance. The school bus for instance was more than an hour late.

Anyways, I grabbed a snowploughingshovel, whatever they might be called, probably shovel and started clearing off the stairs and front of the school. I remained alone in my work although some other parents stood around smoking cigarettes on the street corner (they couldn’t even have the excuse of having to rush off to work).

So Jen’s theory is that the look I was given on that school board meeting was a ‘you know what I’m talking about, you’re with me’ look. The exact opposite of what I have been theorising earlier.

Grabbing something to do in and around the school when it is there to do is very much in line with the Steiner philosophy and I have been trying to take an active part in the life of the school. Let’s hope that my reading of ‘looks’ is just lousy, and lets hope I am not as paranoid as I think I am (a rather paranoid wish).

A funny addition to the book issue. Yesterday in the Library while Jen was cruising the snowy street of Szeged frantically searching for her passport - which she also moved to the location of the home – with the children I had some pretty ok time at the library. Ernest was fascinated by all the children and their fascination with either the books or him while Lili somehow managed to find the very book her teacher reads stories from. That was a good catch amongst the possible tens of thousands of books just in the children’s library but it was also a welcome revelation realising that although in first grade at the stiener school they may not be too encouraging about books, they don’t burn them.

Thursday 24 February 2011

February 24th

Ernest is now clever as a monkey!

This morning I was prepping breakfast, a jug of water was already on the table but the glasses were still on their way when I noticed that Ernest couldn’t wait and using a stick (a pencil) he managed to extract water from the narrow ‘waterhole’. A scene from nature movies.

Otherwise we do civilised – in the contemporary modernist sense – activities with the children as well. For instance Jen helped Liliom learn crocheting yesterday amidst some frustration. It seems at times Lili while no fuss no trouble learns anything at school without much questioning at home she exercises the critical thinking we so keenly teach her to. She does it without critically thinking of her critical approach however so even when comes to copying a mechanical process she will insist that something is wrong with it and do it some other creatively invented way. Usually a more complicated and not quite workable way.

On this topic some more; the other day she practically ripped my heart out. It hurt.
They were given the recorders finally and learnt a song on it straight away. On the way home she let me know about this fantastic development. I had a suspicion and whistled the song I thought it may be when she told me it wasn’t that song. I wondered because it is the simplest song – of Hungarian origin – I know and this is the one I taught her on our recorder.

At home she showed us the new treasure, which is a simpler instrument than ours, a recorder nevertheless. Then she played the song I whistled and we learnt to play years ago.

Later she excitedly telling me about the day, she told me about a classmate who ‘imagine’ was the only one who already knew the song and could play it. This was the point where it particularly hurt for I realised this is not merely a conflict between school and home, which is one to be expected with parents like Jen and I. It runs deeper. It may be that without explanation one is already able to see it, I cannot articulate the issue now, too much is running through my head.

The morning with Ernest was more relaxing than contemplating issues of identity, social and self created or perceived pressures to assimilate and value based conflicts and shaping of multiple identities while attempting to integrate in a host society.

While I ran through the news, which is Al Jazeera now, for they are the only ones not only reporting from places where the most people died yesterday but actually trying to report from everywhere in the middle east, Ernest spent some time playing with the wooden trains lining the cars next to each other than pushing them across the room. After getting across, turning back.

Fortunately we didn’t pick up playing with the beads: from one container to another than back to the first one. Those beads by the way came from a set of bangles (wrist bands) about which Lili was right. They would snap.

When I finished with the news it was time for me to get on the ground and involved with those trains. I think the wooden train set is another set of toys that is recommended only to people who are at least smart as an average ape when obviously a monkey can play with them too. At times I wonder what do I make of it all, Ernest and trains. I tried to be neutral about them and encourage only his interest and actions but at which stage one has to admit that there are other people who participate in socialising our children and his ‘natural’ affection for objects with wheels attached is not necessarily so natural while some continuously would argue at me that they are.

Eventually we moved on to trying to find a clean pair of tights which took some time but we returned to the trains a little longer before leaving for the...
...shopping mall. A chance to run, do some shopping, grab some lunch and generally be somewhere else than home but not the street. This kind of place used to be the uni at Oulu but Szeged lacks a similar... hm, place just sounds so simple and degrading but I guess it should do, place.

He got stuck by a lawn mower on display. It had wheels you see. I had to bribe with satsumas. You remember them, the cause of collapse of global ethics and international agreements.

Back to Lili, yesterday I noticed some difference in her behaviour at different times. Last week when it was ski break she spent a lot of times with books, especially after our visit to the library on Tuesday. Now that she is back to school she spends an incredible amount of time knitting or crocheting. We certainly have an issue here described in detail earlier but just recently posted

And a week ago on our way to the capital city (where we got into a car and drove off to my mums place which is ironically is where the definition of periphery was first contemplated)

I bought Ernest a cleaning set.

It’s been snowing all day. four months ago I prophesised daffodils for the end of February. I begin to wonder if an old friend was wrong about me... or my field perhaps isn’t weather planning and forecast.

17th February - On the Train

We have been sitting on the train for the last near two hours. Finally the heating is starting to kick in and it’s kicking real hard. I wonder if I should roast or turn it off than freeze. It’s only the three of us again. Jen is staying home to work on her thesis. In some ways she feels it’s a shame to lose out on hanging out with us in some other ways she was really looking forward to being able to not only sleep in but generally just sleep without Ernest jumping on her head from early dawn. When she told me about the possibility of just spreading out her papers on the table while working without having to quickly put them back in a folder after 45 minutes when we come home from the shops or Ernest wakes up I literally got a jealous rage (clearly we miss having a study).

Ernest fell asleep after the first half hour, considering his lack of sleep during the night he was due a nap. Lili is sitting in the luggage rack taking care of her own entertainment so I am pleased to sit here and enjoy typing away for no apparent reason or purpose. Just enjoying the typing.

I have been doing some thinking recently. Jen staying home because she has to work and we are away on our great adventure to visit my mother and spend a day with my father. She thinks it kind of sucks that she has to stay home – as I mentioned before. It’s kind of true. But nowadays as a stayathome parent I have a lot of time to stay at home – obviously not literally - and parent. I realise I must have been missing out before. Considering my previous bloggings for instance I came to see that this time it’s different. I often manage to write cute and fairly interesting stories yet this time around I have no need to call on the aids of imaginary friends of all sorts. Liliom and Ernest provides us with plenty of opportunity to tell interesting stories without adding much if anything. Perhaps the odd politically inclined or motivated metaphor, interpretation, call to arms. And encounters with the odd medical professional.

(and this was the point when Ernest got up)

16th February - On Libraries

Last week on the school board meeting conversation jumped off the agenda a bit and discussed topic became rather unworthy of the elevated nature of the board: bitching about some families and parents. A fellow member had a passing comment about parents who not only don’t pay the fees (they are called ‘offerings’ – because we are not a private school!), not only don’t participate in the school but there are some homes where you feel the parents work against the philosophy of the school. In this last part she looked at me meaningfully.

Yesterday we were in the library with the children. With Ernest we go regularly, at least once a week and I remember with Liliom we used to go often as well, back in Oulu, till I started uni when it became a rare outing. In her own gentle ways she has been trying to let me know that this isn’t right. So recently I have begun a constructive response and decided that at least every other week we will make it there with her.

Since there is a ski break and we don’t ski in the dry and snowless southern plains of hungary we hang out all day and do things like going down to the market together, playing with clay, painting the kids cardboard playhouse. And yesterday we have been to the library.

Should I let Lili, she would take home all the books. Should I let me I would do the same but fortunately there is a very strict limit of six books per library card, we have three in the family. Eighteen books is still enough.

Lili carrying a handful of books to the desk to check out, with Ernest marching right behind her with another couple of books he has chosen is a wonderful sight. Lili then sitting in the armchair at home surrounded by and disappearing behind books practically piled on top of her is another wonderful sight. Jen relived of her concerns for Ernö not bothering with books now they sitting on the sofa reading books to each other is another sight putting tears in one’s eyes.

We love books. I love books. I always have, as far as I can remember. I cannot remember my parents actively encouraging me but I am certain it was there. I love doing the same for my children, I love helping them to build a habit of using libraries and an appreciation for them. Books are incredibly important and certainly a far more productive way of receiving stories than television.

In steiner schools to begin with, books are pretty much shunned. First graders should know nothing of letters and spelling and reading and writing and all that and in some ways, generally be illiterate in the world of books. Hence Jen’s recent blogpost about their ‘learning’ the letter ‘D’. In In Lili’s school this doctrine seems to be taken seriously. I tell my colleagues at the school board and fellow parents about our lives. Liliom tells about our adventures during circle times in the mornings and an outing to the library for her is an exciting adventure, and a return packed with interesting stories, facts and science.

There is a conflict of interest with the very school we chose and pay for yet so long as I hear seven years old kids chatting on the school playground about the recent Madonna and other music videos I know that I have the moral high ground. Anyone finds it a problem?

Sunday 13 February 2011

February 13th


 

I'm sitting here feeling a bit like a hen. Although I know there will be no chicks hatching and hopefully nothing will but I seem to have volunteered myself to a new form of making yoghurt (probably isn't so new). The milk has been prepared already and infested by live yoghurt and now in jars wrapped up it needs some heat. I provide that.

Anyways,

I had my sandals walk yesterday. Happened to be the day when a new cold approached. Nevertheless it was fun and I enjoyed it but was glad to have breaks from the wind, going to the market, to a café and then to the library. I hoped for some locks of disbelief and utter confusion on sight of my toes but I never got it. I think people once they see you got dreadlocks they automatically assume they should assume the opposite of what they assume of another being.

Ernest didn't have sandals on, he doesn't own a pair as yet and he was doing less walking an more sitting. Besides, that I'm sure wouldn't go down without comments. Lili and Jen didn't come as they were home engaged with some painting project. The very reason they two of us left the house.

At the market Ernest helped me load up with veg, at times a bit overenthusiastic but this new approach to being on the market most of the time saves me from having to run after him. I may have said before but I will say again, the market is nice. It is nice to be familiar with vendors, they yell or nod a hello even if we just walking buy and not getting any of their stuff right that day. Wee chats and just a generally friendly atmosphere. Next week that Lili is on ski break finally she will get to come with us as well. I think she has been feeling a bit left out from all these fun stuff we do with Ernest during the days when she is at school (of course yesterday wasn't a school day but she was busy (with some other fun stuff)).

Ski break. Hm. Just about most of the people cannot afford to go on a ski holiday during the skibreak, or ever. So there is a holiday organized during school term for those who are well off. While some of those families aren't going to go on ski holiday during the ski holiday but at some other more suitable time – for them. Their absence can be accepted no trouble (in a country where otherwise they are incredibly strict with absence signed for by parents. Next time Lili is off school I will just say we were away skiing).

After the market another walk and Ernest fell asleep. I took shelter, coffee and a paper in our new favourite cafe. I left him a third of the cottage cheese sour cherry pie which when eventually awake he thought was an insult. 'We should just get on the road' he said and 'come on, come on, there is not time to waste' while standing already in the door, ready to slip out should someone foolishly open it. Managed to convince him to get dressed. I got my jacked and scarf and hat and gloves on finishing off the pie and off we... no.

'What did you do?!' he asked utterly puzzled by my idea of leaving. 'You ate it?!' and he climbed on the chair hovering up the last crumbles from the plate 'We have to eat!' he looked at me with those beautiful puppy eyes….. yeay, whatever. That is not how things go these days. He screamed! No. sorry, wrong. Actually and surprisingly he didn't at this stage. So I was getting the puppy eyes and 'please, please, please! He more less patiently waited till I got another slice of pie, desperately trying to clime onto the coutner and over to where all the good stuff was. We sat down and then the screaming begun.

The reality, and we are talking a visual appearance and texture of the pie, somehow did not match Ernest's expectations. And he did what the 18motnhs old does nowadays; screamed and shouted and threw himself on the ground. At times it is almost entertaining. In public places however people, many people want children controlled so it is easy to feel some pressure. Eventually he calmed down, scuffed up the pie than completely casually brought up the issue of leaving 'what are you sitting about? Let's go!'

Friday 11 February 2011

February 11th


 

Jen has been pacing a journey recently, and I suppose she still is about blogging. She is finding it difficult to move away from status updates into blogs. She claims she can express wisdom in a sentence or two. It's a very finnish mentality. All that talking some others do may not come to saying much. (saying this after i have been neglecting blogging / saying much/ for nearly a week – but I have my culprit, my scapegoat in Ernest for depriving me of precious sleep and another in the deathly UN course and yet another in school politics. (this last one especially shall be revisited later shall I not tire of typing.))

Perhaps it is best to start a new paragraph.

Types of blogging... hm, perhaps some are just ways of small talk. I can't do small talk. I blog small talk or at least I try. And here I shall thank Jen for helping me to think about blogging; a kind of aims talk, thinking. Of course I could turn around and curse her for showing me the parts of my blogger account where i can trace number and origins of hits on my posts. However, I was complaining about no feedback and tracking your audience perhaps is a active form of seeking feedback. Best to let go.

I intended to go for walks in sandals for footwear this week but i oalways only remembered once out on the street. It was warm. Had a chat at the school some two days ago with one of the teachers about the time being ripe to start wearing sandals and she thought I was kidding. No I wasn't . In Oulu I am usually the first one but now I am increasingly concerned that because of my lack of paying attention to it someone will beat me to it. Naturally I will be able to hide behind the fact that in Oulu sandals happen in the last week of arpil at the earliest which is still far and that is way I am just still too wintery in my thinking but still, there is apparently serious competitive spirit in me and in this most important are of life I will not be last! Or second even.

I remember on Sunday we went for a walk and it was warm enough no to wear hats (it was warm enough for sandals too I think, now). Ernest was utterly confused. He just really didn't want to accept it. 'you go out, you put you hat on!' goes the mantra, can't imagine how it would be in Oulu. Although there this mantra is there year around. They just give a different reasoning for the kids.

Ok, I run out of steam... to be continued

Sunday 6 February 2011

February 5th - a late posting

Yesterday I was going to tell about our Library visit but it wasn’t coming together, I forgot the core of my saying, or at least the aspect that would have provided some moral message (alas politics).

Once posting and putting away the computer it came to me and sitting in the library today I had to work hard to keep on task rather than chattering away on my blog. It was an especially gruesome task as my essay topic is anything but fun. And don’t get me wrong here. Although I do stress out about essay and always, always think that I haven’t researched enough and my notes are nowhere near organised enough (which usually is true) and I believe that i haven’t enough reference (way off, I scare people with the amount of referencing I can do). It is a productive stress mostly and I enjoy writing academically too so the reason I end up moaning about an essay topic is nothing like the usual student whining where one is constantly in an end of the world mood when ask to produce evidence of cognitive process. It is simply that writing about what may have gone wrong in a process to result in genocide is simply a shit topic.

So I managed and as I was deprived coffee, the library was in preparation for a charity ball so facilities of codeine dispersal were non-functioning, I am sitting in a cafe now before returning home. It’s a bit of a wind down, although my brain was fried and needed some buffer before Ernest.

Here is the chance than, which also functioned as a ‘carrot’. The library experience.

Actually now I am starting to be concerned there may have been way to much raising tension and expectation before... ops.

Usually we go to the library as a morning activity with Ernest. We like to rain in the place when it is mostly empty. I however started to feel that we are depriving Liliom from the chance of having a more sophisticated roaming than what we have with Ernest so decided that it is necessary to have a session. The three of us set out leaving Jen home to study and we found a very different library from what I am used to with Ernest. It was round 4pm and packed. There were children and young people everywhere. It was really nice to see that there are members of the following generation who still believe books have value.

Asked Lili to chose a book for me from four available by Sven Nordquist. She took her work incredibly serious and spent a lot of time browsing the books. Eventually she came up to me with two of them letting me know that those two were the best, we are taking them both. Then she went on to find some other stuff while it became increasingly difficult for me to ‘contain’ Ernest. He was tired and in such circumstances he becomes what we refer to as ‘high maintenance’. Adding to this I forgot to change sock and in my warm winter socks in the incredibly heated building I was slowly dying of warm feet. Eventually we had to go.

On leaving Liliom has showed me one more book she wanted to take. It was a children’s book by a guy called Wass Albert. Only recently I realised he was into writing children stories, since we started to go to library here and I find that amongst the newest books available there are many penned by him. He is a bit of a cult nowadays among, hm, patriots of Hungarian origin. In his life he was very pro-Hungarian and perhaps not offending to say extremely nationalist. For his excuse, growing up in 20th century Transylvania as a member of the former ruling elite I can understand why he had rather negative perception of so called others. Apart from romantic nationalism and the extreme stylistically tackiness, cheapness in his writing (vow, I bet I gut some fuses blown with this one) I wouldn’t have problem with Lili exploring his book.

Unfortunately it is his wider political views, having openly been supporter of fascist regimes and - in emigration – organisations and periodicals I simply said to Lili ‘sorry, but the guy who wrote that book was a fascist, I don’t want you reading that book’. I managed to raise some eyebrows and we were off. Lili was cool with it. There will be time she will read what she well please. For the time being I try to help her into reading books by people who think that empathy and solidarity is the birthright of every human being.

(should this have been written into the blog yesterday, it would have meant three ‘moral’ issues in an apolitical blog – I rock)

Friday 4 February 2011

February 4th

There may be something wrong about stand up comedies when one stays awake, keeps watching a show in hope that maybe, maybe at the end there will be the punch line that made it all worth it, that made it all ok to persevere. It was the second time now – if one can say in a row – that this has happened. I do not like it and I find only two explanations: either these comedians i watch getting old and start losing touch or I am getting old and losing touch. For this latter I could borrow one of my mum’s recently favourite phrase ‘I’m just not as young anymore as I am used to be...’ Well neither am I and unless one finds the fountain of youth we all have the ready answer to whatever comes our way. Had I been younger it would probably had been a more fun show (although I doubt it, being ‘old’ – well maybe not so old actually – and grumpy). Show me a stand up that I find painfully funny at least in my stomach muscles and I will owe you the price of your choice.

I couldn’t help reading in the news this morning that the USA, its government now want the Egyptian Mubarak gone, and hopes to have him replaced with his former minister for secret services... one shall not comment on that but I fear for the peace in a country where seems to be a genuine hope for a democracy. The army will probably take over, best case scenario that the European Council and the UN will organise elections... then comes - my concern here - that the people will have voted ‘wrong’.

Reading news has happened before going to the market, before taking Liliom to school and after having breakfast and although we were late to school it was a brief session of reading nevertheless. So I derive my analysis from minutes of news reading. I perhaps got it wrong.

After dropping Lili off, Ernest and I turned towards the market which usually a blissfully oblivious browse for me as by the time we get there, he is almost always asleep. Ususally his is covered by his shawl so people just know me there as the guy with the buggy. They rarely see Ernest. But today it was different. He was awake and he wanted a piece of the action so we experimented with him on foot. I wrapped his shawl around him in some manner so it didn’t obstruct his movement and didn’t strangle him either. And off he went. Invincible.

Twice I lost him completely following the signs and waves from friendly vendors as I was chasing after him. It was a laugh. Eventually we came to an agreement to take turns leading the way and waiting up on each other. This system worked well only to break down rather explicitly when the appearance of satsumas –especially ones in crates under the vendor tables. In the beginning our agreement was like that of the great powers on the security council of the UN. We wanted, we dreamed of a future – and at the time a present – without conflicts, of mutual understanding only to have it gone in an instant degrading back in to pity self interest the moment our common dreams became an obstacle of the corporations that controlled ‘our’ governments, the moment those satsumas were in sight all deals were off.

I caught up with the news later so maybe my hypothesis has some more ground than it first seems. Yes, I am very clever.

Wednesday 2 February 2011

February 2nd

It is increasingly difficult to restrain myself from mentioning politics or being political in this blog in Szeged. I may have mentioned before about the set up of the city hall where the majority of the councillors are from the governing party but the major is from another, the biggest opposition party (in parliament) so all that happens in the city council is these two pissing each other off for the sake of it. It has affected Lili’s school for instance by not being able to make deals with the council about building and upgrading the building – which we rent from the city and as the owner the city’s permission is needed for changing it. Or more recently the Hungarian government’s début in the European Parliament. And of course now there is Norht Africa, the middle East and Egypt in the middle of it all that I find increasingly difficult to let pass without a comment especially so that we talk about it a lot.

Well, for those who can’t see how this is all –
- Yes and there is the recent pitch, combined direct opposition to the London Govmnt by the Scottish, Welsh and Northern Irelander govermnts. Vow.
So if you think this may result into too much politics in an apolitical blog I – and another funny bit, we had some guests today, my mother and her friends and while their were here we haven’t discussed recent happenings in the political spheres of hungary , although I have been talking about it with Jen while preparing tea for our guests in the kitchen - so yes I recommend and finally actually do, this oldish awareness video from Scotland, my second, or maybe third home - depends on how one is sequencing and prioritising. Haven’t quite finalised it myself.

Liliom had a ballet presentation today. They were quite nice. I mean the children. Working really hard and all that. Ernest slept through most of it and I forgot to take off my jumper before settling so I nearly died in the heat but hey, is there anything you wouldn’t do for your children? I still wonder, if a boy these days dared to join the ballet class, what colour would he wear? The bright pink maybe would be pushing a step too far wouldn’t it? After all just because someone wants to dance doesn’t automatically mean that he wants to become the girliest girly princessy vuagh! But what colour would match pink? Black? Not sure. Of course these days in after school or extracurricular sporty activities the ones with balls play with balls therefore the outfit for ballet is not a concern.

Now that I am finally starting to feel better and a bit more up to doing, hm, living life it is Jen’s turn to start falling ill. This is the game (if one dares calling it as susch ) we have been playing since the end of September. Someone in the house would always feel physically rubbish. This puts some marks on our stay here.
Yesterday my head was full of wonderful ideas. In the evening we cleaned the house and ever since I feel empty inside. I never imagined that a tidy and clean house can put a strain on creative energy in such a nasty manner. Quite said.

Ernest has fallen into some destructive behaviour pattern recently. Yesterday we realised that it can be cured by taking him out on to the walking street. Let him stroll around, wave to his admirers, check out shops and places... puts him in a good mood. He tides up and only occasionally attacks Lili. Of course we could be wrong and he is in a better mood because for a change his growing teeth have stopped growing and bothering him. He can realise that life actually is fun