tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10008536605978460032024-02-22T16:53:10.272+01:00SzegedKoivuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06450199416140791521noreply@blogger.comBlogger51125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1000853660597846003.post-64449289867134407532011-07-31T20:21:00.001+02:002011-07-31T20:21:44.727+02:00roadtrip to Oulu<a href="http://szeged-oulu.blogspot.com/">http://szeged-oulu.blogspot.com/</a>Koivuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06450199416140791521noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1000853660597846003.post-55746441465123856192011-06-09T21:10:00.000+02:002011-06-09T21:12:07.366+02:00antimatter<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:officedocumentsettings> <o:allowpng/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> 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name="TOC Heading"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal">The trusty workshop where I took the car (some 10 days ago) on recommendation turned out to be one where the owner and boss happened to simply hate Ladas. This part, that the vintage aged car they were to check over my contact forgot to mention to them and only came out when sighting the thing, the very car. So they weren’t much motivated to do anything to the car. They twisted some nobs and pulled some levers at some point I am sure, the doctor style. The engine sounds a hint better, although it had a pretty neat sound already before. They had the courtesy to change oil and check the breaks which is a definite must after our trip to Austria late December (remember, we driven the car wondering about the funny noise it makes when breaking only to find out back in Hungary that it was mostly luck that the breaks haven’t failed completely – it was a new built Suzuki on which the breaks shortly before have been checked). Our Lada had and has good breaks but checking them was important anyways. Ok, the hand break was kind of crappy.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">And it feels ‘Szeged’ is needing a new name soon. One like ‘Lada’ or ‘Kitty’. But there are other things too. Like people. Or cats that can now be found also on the bathroom ceiling (still wondering if we should take them on the journey – there should be enough room on the roofrack, or should we allocate a box for them (of which we seem to have plenty). And monkeys in the trees outside our window ( I think the monkeys will fly. Better situation for everyone, perhaps the flight attendants would beg to differ). Ernest will miss going to the zoo. I will miss being with Ernest and Lili at the zoo. Though now Lili has a bit of a boost of zoo in her system. The last week of the school they are spending out at the zoo. I guess it gives a bit of a breathing space for her teacher. Throw them in with the gibbons…</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Now that we are running out of things to put in boxes, I have really established my habit of collecting boxes. I became rather successful in collecting them, the really good ones. So we will have an excess of boxes when we finally leave. In fact, I already have thrown away a bunch of crappie ones. That didn’t leave up to our new standards of super durable boxes. Now here in inner city Szeged that means that as a private person I can litter the streets with them for mainly two reasons. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">First of all, our fellow housemates dislike the idea of the bins being clogged up with cardboard, even the night before the binmen come. But then, the binmen dislike the idea of treating cardboard as communal rubbish. And just throw the large bits out on the side of the street, or if it is next to the bin than they leave it. I was thinking about burning it but then I would get a fine for doing that in inner city Szeged. A bit of a standoff.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Fortunately a fellow housemate, actually building mate, came to my rescue and she knew that the best thing to do is to rip them into fairly small bits, and mix them in all the bins. So far no maniacs expressed any desire to still take them out of the bins. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">I wish I could say that all that is left to do until we leave is making seat-covers so we don’t stick to our leather seats… this isn’t the case</p> <p class="MsoNormal">And recently I have left out politics altogether, not because there isn’t any, or because it is of no interest or importance. I have no energy anymore. A move, across so many miles takes a toll on one’s capacities. What may be worthy of mention is perhaps not worth mentioning. Apparently the Hungarian EU presidence has been a success. Somehow. But at least , non-politically again, the matter of antimatter is settled now.</p>Koivuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06450199416140791521noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1000853660597846003.post-63250181515335086112011-05-30T22:46:00.001+02:002011-05-30T22:49:17.939+02:0030th May<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:donotpromoteqf/> <w:lidthemeother>EN-GB</w:LidThemeOther> <w:lidthemeasian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:lidthemecomplexscript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> <w:splitpgbreakandparamark/> <w:dontvertaligncellwithsp/> 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mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal">We have taken another leap. A different kind. I am learning new things to get along with our car. It seems I have been being overprotective. Now I know, I need to give it some air... but this isn’t the leap. </p><p class="MsoNormal"><br />Children’s day came and passed. I don’t know if it is an international one, but definitely a local one. You could think that we didn’t bother ourselves with it but it isn’t true. When all things considered. Ernest and I – as planned – yesterday departed for Budapest.. Jen and Liliom were left behind at Szeged ( I almost wrote Oulu here). Lili couldn’t really come with us because she needs her final, stage practices before the ballet performance on Thursday. I had to come to bring the car to be checked over proper by some trusty workshop. Especially that we are gonna take it abroad for a considerable length of time. It would have been foolish to leave Ernest behind, Jen could have done no packing during the days whatsoever, time wasted for everyone.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Lili at first thought it was an unfair deal. Later she realised that she would have a few days without having to accommodate the mad needs of a 2 year old toddler. Besides, Jen promised her sewing machine learning experiences and perhaps other special events. And she could play sophisticated games with detailed toy layout without having to worry about imminent end. So a children’s day in a sense for days to come.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><br />Ernest was rather nervous on Sunday morning. We were packing the car and getting ready to go. He is always worried he might gets left behind. Eventually we were sitting in the car getting good bye kisses from the other two. The realisation, that we were going, in our lada, just him and I… in that instant he lived children’s day.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><br />After about a third of the journey he fell asleep. Not much later I picked up a man walking by the side of the road. Apparently he was going from Romania to Budapest, mostly walking because it is hard to hitch a ride here, and he will definitely find work in Budapest. He didn’t speak Hungarian, only a couple of words. A couple of words of English, Romanian, Russian, a Roma dialect from Romania. Our conversation exhausted after about three minutes, then he too fell asleep. A bit of a disappointment of a hitchhiker.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p> <p class="MsoNormal">This morning taking the car to the service, driving on the dirt roads leaving from my mum’s place, at the first corner I picked up an elderly couple. Drove them to the nearest bus stop on the main road (actually not the nearest but the one near to Cora, more buses stop there). They were most surprised to be offered a ride by someone so young. Young people usually don’t bother themselves with helping others nowadays. Maybe I am just not so young anymore. Maybe I find it natural to give a ride to people, considering, I have travelled enough in other’s cars.<br />Our time here since we arrived is rather pleasant. I don’t get to do much though as the car is gone, and Ernest need to be kept an eye on in the garden. I filled up the little paddling pool with water for him, he gathered some flower-heads and petals into it and spent much of the day between the pool and the sandpit. Occasionally chasing some of the animals etc…</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Before I post maybe it is time to explain what the leap is!<br />it is our car use, we travelled with our car, last time we went to Szeged it was a journey with a stranger. It felt different now. It was a travel with a car we now mean business with. We are adamant to take each other to places we go. It was comfortable. and funnily this is one of the most comfortable cars to drive I have driven recently.</p>Koivuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06450199416140791521noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1000853660597846003.post-50331172446266945002011-05-27T21:23:00.001+02:002011-05-27T21:23:47.969+02:00May 26th - 27th<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:officedocumentsettings> <o:allowpng/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:donotpromoteqf/> <w:lidthemeother>EN-GB</w:LidThemeOther> <w:lidthemeasian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:lidthemecomplexscript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> 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mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal">We have been psyching ourselves for some days now to take the leap. I think I am almost into it now, on a kind of<span style=""> </span>‘just do it’ slogan. For once I could make my parents happy. In the past year or so they haven’t failed to let me know they believe my inability to integrate has a great deal to do with me. Especially a particular quality of mine. It is now the day to remove this obstacle. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">I may fear that even though they think such, they may be wrong. My immediate reaction to particular cultural strands of this locality has always determined my interaction with figures of the establishment and even general interaction.<span style=""> </span>I can’t go on. I cannot say it yet. at this stage it isn’t final and my psyching still requires work.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Maybe later</p> <p class="MsoNormal">On Tuesday Liliom was given a new role in the big ballet performance. Last week when she presented us her part she immediately commanded our respect and amusement and realised that our child whom we often accuse of a lack of concentration is capable to an amazing level of it. The fact that she has been chosen to learn a new part only a handful of sessions before the show actually highlights how wrong we were. Her teacher apparently trusts her most to be able to pull it off. I guess we usually expect her to maintain focus and attention like a regular grown up, but we don’t spend time with other young ones her age to realise that she is perhaps a rather focused person. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">However, in the mornings she puts all this to question. For ten months now every morning we have the exact same weekday morning routine. Yet, she still needs constant reminders on the next step in the great task of getting ready. Of course, probably far as she is concerned this constant nagging is part of the routine too.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Ernest is a different case. He decided that the appropriate time to get up is a minimum of 90 minutes before the alarm would suggest so. He has taken on to serenade us. The other day he just sat at the end of the bed singing away. When having enough of that he started taking out various instruments and played us music of all kinds. My favourite was the ukulele. Is the ukulele. He plays a song and he sings along giving himself a round of applause after each song. It has become a new hobby of his. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">We have started planning our route to the far north. For a long time we only had the 2 stops in Hungary, Budapest to say our good byes and Aggtelek in the north east where I promised Liliom some pretty caves.<span style=""> </span>Now we have some vague and some pretty solid ideas for the days we are en route to Oulu. With Jen however we had an argument last night about the starting moment of the journey. She claimed it starts once we leave Budapest considering that is where the final packing and readying will take place. I claimed however that it will start when we drive away from Szeged on the grounds that that is when our flat is given up and we are only stopping at Budapest to meet up with some folk (my parents) and to take part in Budapest Pride. </p> <div style="border-width: medium medium 1pt; border-style: none none solid; border-color: -moz-use-text-color -moz-use-text-color windowtext; padding: 0cm 0cm 1pt;"> <p class="MsoNormal" style="border: medium none; padding: 0cm;">I think she was surprised how uncompromising I was in my view and tried to tell me that it is ok to disagree but I wasn’t listening much, we dropped it. This morning we were talking about the journey, sorry, The journey when I realised that when I mentioned something about the beginning of the road trip I actually referred to leaving from Budapest as the start of it. I think she hasn’t noticed it but then writing it here perhaps gonna give it away. I now publicly admit she is right.</p> </div> <p class="MsoNormal">Another day has passed. I was going to finish the circle of this entry last night but haven’t gotten to it.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Maybe I haven’t mentioned before that we have been having some issues of infestation. The kind that goes on at school, but doesn’t stay at school. We were completely oblivious to this problem until one morning discovered in Ernest. Finally, after hours of thorough examination I have become a suspected carrier too. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Last night after all the psyching the process of making my parents happy begun. I thought it wasn’t going to take long but Jen was determined to save me some strength. Sampson’s legend was strong in our minds. After five hours I have become a new man. It is amazing how much dirt one can live with so close to his skin for such length of time. I don’t feel any more integrated, and at our local shop I have had a conversation of regret (the shop assistant though it was regretful to be more ‘integrated looking’). I am thankful for Jen for keeping me some strength to carry on. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">The truth is, some time ago I have said, aacually when I started the new blog in Hungarian of life in Oulu, that I already feel gone. Testing Sampson’s legend was a planned event for July, when we are already in Oulu. It is life’s sweet twist to bring events forward. Shall I feel I am gone from Szeged; it is time than to act accordingly. It is a new beginning. 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0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal">The other day finishing dinner we were sitting at the table chitchatting. I think our usual conversation topics now increasingly are ones about packing, moving, journey, Oulu, etc. Ernest was still eating but with Lili we talked about the journey. She drew up the route on the table, the map of Poland and the Baltic states, the Baltic sea and Finland. All imaginary lines, and she presented the two alternative journeys, one driving through the Baltic states and the other taking the ferry from Gdansk, actually Gdynia to Helsinki. She was asking which way we go, she wanted to make sure we take the longer route, shorter ferry from Tallinn. I was happy to calm her anxiety because we are driving up to Tallinn. She however amazed me with the incredibly detailed knowledge of the European north-east. <span style=""> </span>A was almost rendered speechless. Almost. But it’s me</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Ernest quickly realised that drawing imaginary lines on the table and explaining something very important like ‘blabla tapatee dubiduh…’ will not only get my attention but fill me with pride and joy. And it did. In his case for a slightly different reason than Lili’s, naturally. Nevertheless they both made me joyful in an easy manner. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">We run out of boxes. I will have to go on the hunt tomorrow morning again. I guess it happens.<span style=""> </span>Jen fills them up quickly. But I finally managed to start chipping in, taking part in the great effort in ways other than making phone calls. I gather up stuff that need to go in boxes. I did our cloakroom<span style=""> </span>(hah, we have one of those) and I started stripping parts of the kitchen. Ernest was standing on the step this morning doing dishes while I was also standing on the step sorting the glasses and cups cupboard. I must have not anticipated my clumsiness when it comes to breakables. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Wonderful how quickly the human mind can make a decision. I had the choice of trying to catch our last remaining wine glass before it reaches the sink, potentially smashing it up against the cupboard or letting it fall into the sink and smashing to bits there. I chose the former even in the full knowledge this was exactly the way my mum cut her hand rather seriously some 25 years ago. She also went for the catch. Our story didn’t end in the accident and emergency however but Ernest did have to take a break from doing dishes for the incredible amount of shattered glass (you wonder how a wine glass can break into a million splinters). </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Small mental note; do not handle breakables above the heads of your children. Taking a break from doing dishes though resulted in tears. I wish my children retained their fondness of dishwashing in the years to come. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Hungary’s EU presidency finishes by the end of June. I was going to ask you to keep watching with a close eye. If you think they were… hm, hard to find a PC word here, so if they were somewhat dubious till now, once the lame light is on Warsaw you can wonder what politicians find themselves doing in Budapest. But. Recent public comments from our beloved Berluscone makes you wonder, why bother at all. I follow politics from four European countries and vaguely from a half a <span style=""> </span>dozen others and honestly, the only place that so far does not make me cry is Scotland. The SNP – if my understanding is correct – managed to win an election through a positive assertion rather than going ugly like the rest of them. Scots also inserted a party into government with a majority in an electoral system that is designed to make such thing impossible. And it’s all about devolved government and self-determination. Make no mistake, I am not fun of this government (I usually rather critical of them all) but I certainly take a joyful break when looking at the relatively civilized manner with which politics is ‘done’ in Scotland (especially when compared with the rest of Europe). Wonder if one day we will return to claim a refuge there from the madness that slowly, actually at an increasing pace creeps up or actually advances on Europe. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">I’ve read a status update recently from Glasgow, about not wanting to go shopping with the kids because of the wind. I thought ‘what?’ but quickly remembered, the west coast… hm. If a local complains about the<span style=""> </span>wind there must be flying roofs and cars.<span style=""> </span>And there almost were. Sitting in the 30 degrees heat, bagging for rain I wonder, politics is a thing and climate is another. For the time being</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span></p>Koivuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06450199416140791521noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1000853660597846003.post-86240962121702091802011-05-21T21:01:00.001+02:002011-05-21T21:01:44.266+02:00May 21st - this is it?<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:officedocumentsettings> <o:allowpng/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:donotpromoteqf/> <w:lidthemeother>EN-GB</w:LidThemeOther> <w:lidthemeasian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:lidthemecomplexscript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> 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0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal">We thought we will solve our financial challenges (PC) by good old fashioned capitalist enterprise. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Szeged is full of secondhand clothes shop that claim to sell top quality ’english’ clothes. We have a lot of top quality second hand ‘english’ brand clothes. Especially children’s clothes.<span style=""> </span>So we thought that on the second hand market we rent a stall and make a killing. My mum kindly visited us for the weekend to hang out with the kids and enjoy the Szeged Bridge Festival so Jen and I can stand around on the market for hours on and on. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">I think we didn’t consider the problem that everyone with a significant disposable income today would rather be in the citycentre. At the market people generally seemed to be pissed of that we charged money for our stuff. We earned a sum of 10 Pounds.<span style=""> </span>Our first capitalist venture so far is a failure. I bought a lottery ticket just in case we can avoid tomorrow’s market day. Jen has printed a whole bunch of signs of the UK brands and union jacks like the proper second hand shops downtown. It feels really silly to imagine standing under the British flag, especially when we are people who argue for the breaking up of the union. <span style=""> </span>What capitalism does to you.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I had an interesting conversation, well, I thought it was a conversation with a man at the market. It was about values. Interestingly he started talking about the two movies that he has read about recently in a magazine. Both are prize winner creations, one of them is a Romanian movie – which I also read about – tells the story<span style=""> </span>of two siblings whose life meet again after long separation and they become very close, the story never reveals how intimately close if at all that much. It’s a very beautiful, slow, scenic movie set in N-E Romania, on the mouth of the Danube. The locals disapprove of the siblings’ decision to build a house together. That’s it. The other movie is about a couple where the husband has to go away for an extended period and the wife becomes intimate with the husband’s good friend.<span style=""> </span>Both are potentially realistic stories, something that happens to real people in real life. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">I was slowly realising this was not a conversation. The man started lecturing about how this movies, remember prize winning movies are propaganda that say it is ok to fuck your sister and your best friend’s wife. I eventually managed to put my views in that I think these stories can be told now, because it is possible, it is ok to tell such stories now and explore the moral dilemmas for instance, because these are potentially real stories that happen to people and perhaps these were winning movies because they were good at telling stories that people can identify with. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">The response was that it used to be that when the men had to go away for three years to the army, the woman would wait and not have sex and not cheat and would raise his children and even if he died and never came back she would never touch another man again. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">I said that this is pretty sure true for some women but not all people. There were probably others who didn’t wait for their boyfriends and boyfriends who found love while away from their love and I think only because he believes people should behave in a certain way and approves only of that behaviour does not mean that everyone should behave in that way. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">The shit hit the fan.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Did I know that 85 percent of employees in ‘Hollywood’ are jewish? He asked me. Such movies as these two could be prize winners because they are made by such people which can be done because it is all part of a or actually The jewish conspiracy to rule the world or something like that. A sort of jewish agenda. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">I said good bye to the person, I still cannot respond to this kind of sudden and ‘normal’ anti-Semitism.<span style=""> </span>He asked back ‘what are you, jewish?!’ I said ‘that’s irrelevant’ and added another good bye. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Jen told me later I should have asked back if he knew that half of Hollywood are Hungarian and the other half are Australian. Could there be a Hungarian-Australian-Jewish conspiracy than? But I don’t know, there maybe are too many on the ‘in’ of this secret plan this way. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Got to go now, no fun stuff about the kids, felting at the festival, Lili’s story about her selling experiences at the school’s tent, nothing about our wonderful afternoon with Jen while the others were visiting people… you only get the nasty stories tonight. Now shower and with Jen we hit the street for the Wine festival. Who know, May 21<sup>st</sup> is the day after all, tomorrow it would be even more of all hard work with all that folk gone.</p>Koivuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06450199416140791521noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1000853660597846003.post-59077272654710501922011-05-19T23:28:00.000+02:002011-05-19T23:33:39.110+02:00May 19th<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:officedocumentsettings> <o:allowpng/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:donotpromoteqf/> <w:lidthemeother>EN-GB</w:LidThemeOther> <w:lidthemeasian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:lidthemecomplexscript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> 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mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="" lang="HU">Ma</span>ybe at times I am a bit harsh on the kids. I tell Lili if she really has nothing to say than she just shouldn’t bother. She can talk a lot of nonsense especially when she is desperate to make conversation. Jen and I can get carried away on our own. At dinner for instance it can be boring to someone who doesn’t share our insight into contemporary European politics. It is unfair also because we all can have moment of talking nonsense, or not even moments but regular sessions and periods. Like I do. Besides, often the main attempt from her part is to make conversation. (of course there is the other motivation of intending to be funny without quite understanding that to be funny means being clever at it, not an idiot).</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Today we were most intrigued however by Lili’s choice of topic of conversation. She decided to tell us about the discussion they have had after school while playing outside. She couldn’t remember how but they ended up discussing God and comparing creationist, evolution and gaia theories. Apparently in her class most kids are into creationist theories, the kind of God did it all and keeps it moving. Lili it seems didn’t even take an agnostic point of view but outright argued that people evolved from monkeys and it was kind of a random process. She seemed to have been intrigued by the gaia theory, planet earth is a living organism.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">It was wonderful to hear how they have managed to have a – at times - heated discussion<span style=""> </span>without finding it too stressful <span style=""> </span>and backing themselves into a corner. Once they bored talking, they just got on with other stuff of life. Things to learn from our kids. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">In the meantime , while Lili was storytelling, Ernest has managed to eat some of his food but mostly fooled around with it. At times he would grab a handful of rice and staff it in his face regardless how much would actually fit in his mouth then shake the left out rice off his hand wiping the remains on his clothes. He managed to do all this without grabbing his glass and pouring its contents intentionally in his plate or on the floor. There is a cognitive gap between our children. It is possibly age related though. </p>Koivuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06450199416140791521noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1000853660597846003.post-85751146968905003442011-05-16T19:29:00.002+02:002011-05-16T19:36:59.198+02:00May 16th<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:donotpromoteqf/> <w:lidthemeother>EN-GB</w:LidThemeOther> <w:lidthemeasian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:lidthemecomplexscript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> <w:splitpgbreakandparamark/> <w:dontvertaligncellwithsp/> <w:dontbreakconstrainedforcedtables/> 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mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal;"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:10pt;" >I am writing with some degree of guilt. It’s… actually hard to speak of it, but I suppose I need to say, to be honest and straightforward even when carrying the guilt equivalent to that of a true nationalist’s when betraying <i style="">his</i> country. I started another <a href="http://ouluban.blogspot.com/2011/05/majus-16.html">blog</a>, in Hungarian I thoroughly enjoy writing it. I am in fact very excited about it for it is a new chance, another horizon to explore with a largely different set of people, even if there is some overlap. I am excited to non-politically write politics, Hungarian politics to people I usually bit concerned of offending when saying things straight out without a blog. But it also feels like I am starting another family parallel to this and of course while I am aware that it isn’t a real family, not in the traditional, nuclear family sense the history of… I am just blathering, perhaps wanting to show off. Sorry. I know love cannot be split only multiplied.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal;"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:10pt;" > </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal;"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:10pt;" >Ernest and I had a conversation on the phone today. It was a first one. We were right next to each other though. He loves phones but he will not talk to anyone on them, only imagine talking to someone. Today I was using both skpye and the phone to take care of a list of things that required phoning people. Mostly official stuff. He wanted a piece of the action so with the headset on my, hm, head I called the phone which he was imagining to have a conversation through. It was exciting. Than I helped him to ‘pick it up’. After some time he went along with the idea of talking so we did.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal;"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:10pt;" > </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal;"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:10pt;" >We started packing today, I think you think it’s soon, month before we go, but as proven it is just about time besides, the sooner we are packed, the more relaxed the actual hectic parts will be. The children handle it differently. Liliom dressed up as a cat. Ernest started packing too. Didn’t want to listen to Jen that should he pack his favourite cats into the boxes that will be open again in August only he will not have those cats. </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal;"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:10pt;" > </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal;"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:10pt;" >Generally, the kids seem content though so long as - in front of them – I don’t get into the packing with Jen (they follow me around and stand in the way). I actually feel happy about it. She has experience you know. When we moved to Finland I was already in Finland when she had to pack up everything on her own. When we came over here I had exams then I took off for a week just before moving leaving her with the stuff. Maybe I should just let her handle it this time as well. I wonder what her comment will be.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal;"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:10pt;" >Of course I am not being true here, I do keep busy with all the paperwork, money matters, organising, phone calls and blogging.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal;"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:10pt;" ><br /></span></p>Koivuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06450199416140791521noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1000853660597846003.post-54302704101373836022011-05-15T20:25:00.003+02:002011-05-15T20:27:17.028+02:00May 15th<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> 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name="Bibliography"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" qformat="true" name="TOC Heading"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal">We are moving back to Oulu soon. It’s becoming some kind of an obsession now. We have had an argument about cardboard boxes. It is unsettling to give up all our stuff to let someone else drag them halfway across Europe. We cannot deny being control freaks. It is weird when we are told with admiration how easygoing parents we are. I am not at all certain considering this above mentioned insecurity. Or maybe I am just jumping to conclusions, another trace of the local culture. But careful, I shouldn’t be stereotyping things too much. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">While yesterday we were busy going out, today we were busy staying in. Ernest slept through doctor who waking at the final moments of the show. We could save face only by having doctor who confidential at hand as well and we watched that with him. They say it was a wonderful episode with Tardis personified. It wasn’t, not for the significance of the episode.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I went to our local tesco supermarket in the outskirts yesterday. Had to pick up a couple of things there.<span style=""> </span>At some point I was weighing a bag of frozen beens in my hand wondering how much it could cost, you see, there was no price tag for this particular type (cut green beans). I couldn’t figure out but I had the brilliant idea to walk back towards the fruit and veg section, behind it there is a barcode reader. It wasn’t there. I was puzzled then I realised that in our local Prisma in Oulu used to be a barcode reader behind the fruit and veg section (it may have been moved since the whole things was being rebuilt a year ago when we were coming here).<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">mostly useless piece of information: in places where there is central heating for the area (like neighbourhoods wiht highrises) tonight is the last night the heating is on. as of tomorrow the heaitingseason finished.<br /></p>Koivuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06450199416140791521noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1000853660597846003.post-62200718900132725052011-05-14T21:25:00.003+02:002011-05-14T21:30:59.320+02:00May 14thI was going to start with saying that it is the final night before all attention can finally stir towards... but I then realised there are things that one cannot write in a blog. It is not a journal per se. There are things that one, a family better keeps private. Of course afterwards, should it come to that, I could always claim it is a partially imaginary blog of imaginary characters and imaginary events. I do have a history of that. It’s better untold though, if for no other reasons than for the dramatic effect of starting with such a paragraph. I will try to keep to that for the time being and I will move on to saying something after this mystical start to something else and meaningful.<br /><br />I had a brilliant idea a couple of days ago. It was on Thursday evening before dinner, after my 5 hours shift at the school as a receptionist. Increasingly, after three, when most of the children are already gone and things are a bit more quiet I hang out on the playground chatting away with parents or the after school care assistants (the playground is right in front of the school so I can still keep an eye out, who is going in and out of the building). This last occasion I was talking with a fellow parent, or more appropriately describing the situation I was interrogated by a fellow parent about school systems in various countries. I could tell mostly of the Nordic, especially the Finnish and of course the British, especially the Scottish systems. They are considering of emigrating and the biggest concern they have is the kids.<br /><br />In some aspect I had to have a laugh for having that as the biggest concern. Shows how inexperienced they are about moving to another country within Europe. Our experience is that the kids do fairly well so long as parents get over the culture and other shocks. Also, when it comes to school systems, if they are moving west and northward from Hungary, it can only get better.<br /><br />I did my best to tell, in brief about emigrating, but especially being a newcomer, perhaps the strongest point I made was about relationship. Such move will not fix a dysfunctional one, in fact it requires a well-functioning one to be successful. Of course, most people I talk to about leaving here want to leave because of the environment which is still called the Republic of Hungary (till 1st January 2012). It turns out some 16 present of the adult population of Hungary (roughly 1 million people) seriously believe that the best choice in their lives would be to leave for good).<br /><br />So I had an idea that we should start up an enterprise, a small company training, advising, coaching people on emigrating and immigrating to a new host country. At dinner I sat staring into nothing for a minute chewing my food and came up with yet another idea and started to laugh out loud. To a puzzled Lili and Jen I explained that once we settle down in Hungary for good with this immigration coaching enterprise we could also set up an export business sending meat delicacies to all these places where we have been sending people. To this Jen has added that with the same trucks we export food we could also ship people’s belongings when they are moving. We set for life.<br /><br />A few minutes later Lili mimicked my conversation starting strategy; chewing her food, staring into nothing, laughing out loud. On our inquiry she presented a story from school, something they were playing. A seven year old telling a story that is funny for a seven year old while both laughing and eating in the process just left us clueless. Anyways, she was entertained and somehow so were we.<br />But this place has a sad history of emigration and I have begun to wonder about the actuality of this history. Of course most European countries throughout the 19th century were places from where vast numbers of people left and Hungary is no different. It’s easy to assume an economic reason for emigration back then although I am not always convinced that is the sole reason. When poverty stops being the primary reason is post WW1. During the dictatorships of the 20th century in continuous trickles but also in waves an incredible number of people left or fled. I think the biggest exodus took place in the late 50s after the uprisings in 56 when the borders were left sort of open on purpose and some one million people ‘slipped’ west.<br /><br />Now so many ‘real’ Hungarians want to get rid of some parts of this society, preferably by forcing them to leave. they would be happy to see the Roma flee. Yet I have the feeling if this sentiment doesn’t change and especially if general values and processes don’t normalise in the society in few years’ time another mass exodus shall take place and it won’t be the poor and disadvantaged leaving, there is no new promised land like in the late 19th century. It will be large chunks of the middle classes. After… there will be no mercy for those who stay behind.<br />I usually look at worst case scenarios, it is a cultural trace I carry still. But I believe that many conformist here when feeling they cannot confront the situation but also not willing to comply will leave.<br /><br />Less depressing things.<br /><br />We have seen a book the other day on the sale: How to tame your toddler? A typical DIY know it all book. We didn’t buy. This morning I wiped the table with Ernest. Literally.<br /><br />He has a bad habit, some of you maybe know already, he likes to pour things. From his perspective it is not a bad habit at all. Liquid, volumes, vessels, gravity make fascinating experiments. Now he knows we watch. And he notices when we don’t. This morning he spilled the jug of water on the table, on Lili’s book too. So I laid him with his back on the table and soaked up the water. Maybe I shouldn’t tell you about this. He was screaming. I changed him into dry clothes straight away. Maybe I over reacted. After facing our highly politically not correct commentary on his pouring a carton of juice into are bad next time he only poured it next to our bed. He does understand only choosing to disregard.<br /><br />Maybe I should feel comfy telling this. All parents have their inappropriate moments. And usually they don’t define our relationships with our children. In the afternoon we managed to have ice cream without anyone screaming. That was a development for example. Usually Ernest screams and we rarely know why. It’s weird. With ice creams there is always an issue.<br /><br />Lili spent the afternoon moaning how hot it was and surely it was, but if we always complain about the weather conditions than we never actually not complain about it and I don’t like that. It’s very local.<br /><br />We had a talk a few days ago about hoarding things into bed at night. She has a bad habit of it. I told her that she can take one thing at a time. This issue came up when Eszter (her teacher) recently sawn together the bear Lili knit. She wanted to take all the bears to bed that night. Since I noticed that she is according to agreement only takes one bear a night and it is always a different one. As we agreed.<br />I also noticed that the ones that make it to bed don’t leave next morning. As of tonight, all bears are on sight. How she fits in the bed I don’t know.<br />And finally, on the moving front.<br /><br />Not the front that is moving but we are moving and that has a front. Let’s rephrase. Finally, on the topic of moving. Before I confuse myself<br />the car business has been completely finalised. All paperwork is through.<br />The car cost a little under 700€<br /><br />All the paperwork (not counting insurance and yearly car owners’ tax (this last to be paid later)) 260€<br /><br />The beauty of this is that my mum who is also just recently bought a care for roughly 12260€ spent also 260€ on paperwork (truthfully less because we also had to pay 30€ for changing the number plate). No further comments<br /><br />One more<br /><br />When Jen is writing essays also using the net and I am too lazy to read or sleep or go for a bath and wash my hair I blog. What kind of person that makes me<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibI9TVNnhDUsoFDMb-JSF9DRiZGmP4x6DhUXEjtSY3Z_3fYtt9hOSqLeMPUb17BKxsyyD8B9gO2GI02_mQGZ6RyBQ-RbDYno50YOJAWHZijiC7ne0i-9jibtlG_l5EML8KElLn5LfI4YI/s1600/DSCF7583.JPG"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 482px; height: 361px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibI9TVNnhDUsoFDMb-JSF9DRiZGmP4x6DhUXEjtSY3Z_3fYtt9hOSqLeMPUb17BKxsyyD8B9gO2GI02_mQGZ6RyBQ-RbDYno50YOJAWHZijiC7ne0i-9jibtlG_l5EML8KElLn5LfI4YI/s200/DSCF7583.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5606655706991335714" border="0" /></a>Koivuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06450199416140791521noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1000853660597846003.post-81078125619741747082011-05-10T23:40:00.001+02:002011-05-10T23:43:15.209+02:00May 10thI spend my days with my youngest child, pretty much all day everyday. This afternoon when in the bathroom he scribbled a drawing than announced ‘It’s a cat’, in toddler’s talk and repeated it a couple of times. I missed his first drawing! I wonder if I should be gutted or it may be shouldn’t bother and it’s just one of those stereotypical stay at home parenting things. Don’t know, don’t really know what a stereotypical stay at home parent would look like actually.<br /><br />Irony is that when I arrived to wonder in amusement of his drawing, some 31 seconds later, pointing at it and asking ‘is this a cat?’ in excitement he just looked at me as if i lost it. ‘what cat? It’s just scribble.’ although he appreciated my excitement.<br /><br />We had to have a talk with Liliom this afternoon: In school they were experimenting with the primary colours mixing them a bit. As everything in her school it came with a nice story that was pleasant to listen to when she retold it. However it was once again painful to realise that she thinks this school of hers has no connection to her other life, that the attempt to build a well functioning community of learners with her was so successful that she forgets to check it against other aspects of her life. She told me ‘she never mixed these colours before’ and I actually answered ‘bullshit!’<br />When it comes to painting session Jen and I are at times painstakingly fixated on these three most basic of colours as a starting point. And we eagerly share our views with Lili, needless to say. <br /><br />But she received some payback later in the afternoon. At ballet they are learning some dance for the big end of term show ad her regular partner was off today. This wasn’t the pay back but as I found out at home, her partner for the session. Apparently they couldn’t work together and Lili spent the way home complaining and ranting about her. In some twisted sense it was entertaining, and cute. Of course at some pint I had to start being the good and sensible parent and try to help her resolve her inner rage in a constructive and creative manner. <br /><br />The last ever episode of SGU has aired last night. After we’ve seen it Jen couldn’t stop swearing it was so rubbish. I was gonna say I bet she still going on about that in her had but she just told me ‘sizzle frazzle frizzle’. Late night studies do things to youKoivuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06450199416140791521noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1000853660597846003.post-46182424028850958522011-05-08T21:17:00.001+02:002011-05-08T21:21:18.303+02:00May 8thNo photo blog. Didnt go to the zoo today. I must have lost my touch of Scottishness: The all day rain bothered me, didn’t like the ida of spending too much time outside. So we were at home, the highlight of the day was probably a pillow fight then a fry up for lunch and an afternoon snooze. Liliom was bored beyond measures. She seems to have forgotten how to think. <br /><br />In the evening I had a go at her which turned into talking about leaving. She is sad to leave for leaving her friends here behind. There were tears, in numbers. Jens asked her if she was scared of something going back to Finland to which Lili answered in the most matter of fact take no nonsense voice ‘what should I be afraid of?’ kind of are you mad tone in her voice. <br /><br />We do have to make sure we are better at keeping touch this time around with friends here, at least her friends. Unlike with the ones in Oulu, although we knew we were coming back there. We know at most we will come to Szeged for visits. Altough I must have reminded her that while I spent the first 20 years of my life living in the same flat going to a total of 2 diferent schools and a daycare for 12 years hanging out with the same 2 sets of people through these institutions and another set through my parents’ friends, with not one I keep in touch today and call my friend. So potentially there is a possibility that moving about leaving people behind is not that big of a deal. <br /><br />However, we did realise this morning that while w ehave planned to regularly skype back to Oulu, we never really did and it was really stupid. Oh well<br />Another small matter , the car. I mentioned when buyin a car here 3 things one needs to do;<br /><br /> a, get a mechanical check to make sure it is the car that is says on the papers<br /> b, get an insurance for the car under the name of the new owner<br /> c, go to the local gov. administration office to change the owner’s name on the car’s papers.<br /><br />Logic says that one should do a, c, b,<br />At a, in person and at c, on the website plus various help you get trhought this websites say to do a, b, c,<br />The car insurance people tell you to do a, c, b,<br /><br />Suggestions?<br /><br />It’s interesting that in real life pillow fights rarely ever happens that the pillows burst and there is feather everywhere.Koivuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06450199416140791521noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1000853660597846003.post-72687403414225625922011-05-07T23:17:00.001+02:002011-05-07T23:20:15.122+02:00May 7thOwning a car keeps one busy. Yesterday Ernest and I took it down the local autoclub to have it checked out and get some papers with which we can get some more papers to then get the papers. While waiting on the mechs to do their job we gone for a walk, after the playground we nipped into Szeged Plaza, by far the largest shopping mall in south-east hungary. around the size of Stockman downtown Oulu. We were thrown out of the sport shop, in fact not allowed in because I had a backpack and weren’t willing to give it up. Never mind that we were the only shoppers in the sportshop probably due to the early hour while there was a security guy and two other shop assistants on duty besides the cctv. regulations are regulations.<br /><br />We spent the rest of the day with shopping. Ernest slept trough the market for which I was thankful, was not up for chasing him around there. We also spent the day in anticipation of the Scottish election results and following the news of the UK results somewhat, mostly the referendum. <br /><br />We parked the car by the way, fairly early yesterday and haven’t bothered with it since so my opening statement isn’t so true for this last couple of days at least<br />Liliom has the habit of jumping of her bed far as she can onto a matrass and some giant inflatable coushin. Ernest copies her although he hasn’t gathered the courage to actually jump yet. Probably due to the relative weight of his head. He still gathers their duvets and pillows right next to the bed and after dutyfuly counting to three, as seen from Lili, he steps out of the bed onto the pile. <br /><br />Last night we had some wine celebrating the Scottish election results. Although I am cautious to celebrate the SNP. The interesting development is there nevertheless. I believe if we cannot just yet do away with the state, at least government should be brought closer to people and the smaller a state is the easier this task can be. For me it’s about locus of control. <br /><br />In the UK people generally voted down the idea of a more representative electoral system. The argument to support such decision that through a more proportional system (the current first pass the post is one of the least) there would be a greater chance for a ‘hung’ parliament and coalition governments that are unstable and yara yara. <br /><br />The past four years the Scottish government was a minority government (which is an unimaginable notion in Westminster) yet this gov managed to now gain such an overwhelming swing of seats that the SNP controls more than half the seats in Hollyrood. This has happened in an electoral system which is practically designed to prevent it.<br /><br />The arguments against changing the UK voting system are false as in Westminster there is an unstable coalition government contrary to the disproportionate electoral system and in Hollyrood there is a majority government contrary to a far more proportional system. Maybe voters voted the proposals down cause they annoyed with the Libdems, but surely; punish other, smaller parties?<br /><br />Looking at the developing political culture in Scotland I came to realise that unlike most central europen countries Scotland will go on its separate way – prob in a couple more elections – once it’s ready, it has a tradition of a democratic process well developed. A culture of parliamentary politics. <br /><br />I wonder if a political tradition is a reason for the no vote on the referendum now. A more proportionate representative system would get parties such as UKIP into Westminster in numbers. And look at Finland to see where does that get you. What if that seemingly idiotic no was a very well calculated no? <br /><br />Naturally, I am critical of it nevertheless. Even bogyman nationalist must be confronted in a dialogue (ok, this is told by me who half the time runs away from such confrontations) but more importantly, here comes the Marxist, maintaining the status qou benefits the structure that is already in power; economic, or corporate fascist. They are only really a step away from hard liner nationalist and nationalist-fascist, besides, in the current system the electorate is also robed from choosing someone else. In such system many probably just opts to take the least worst, as the result of the referendum shows. <br /><br />Tomorrow we should go to the zoo or something like that, take plenty pictures – if we find the camera – and have a photo blog entry. It takes a lot more composition to write photo on electoral systems<br /><br />Ant the whole point mentioning the wine was that being drunk after the second glass I realised that I have dropped my thesis topic. Looking for a new one. Then Jen told me that she thinks I have dropped my topic quite some time ago and only my stubbornness kept me on it but she didn’t want to say, just in case now I don’t quite remember what.Koivuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06450199416140791521noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1000853660597846003.post-3908569748314696652011-05-05T22:35:00.002+02:002011-05-05T22:39:56.392+02:00Chapter 14, or something like thatChapter 14, or something like that<br /><br />I wrote an entry yesterday, not the first time not posting. Chapter 14? I like how it sounds between my teeth. And it is a long entry, all those that failed to be posted recently.<br />Follows a succession of complaints. A now increasingly obvious addiction to blogging slowly revealed in my mind. When things aren’t written down they look often miserable. And everything could look more picturesque should I find the usb cable for my camera. <br /><br />The following is from April 7th<br /><br /> Recommencing now with hope to have come to the end of a spring that has inspired us to let it go largely unnoticed ( the spring). I hope we will not be having such distractions in the future. The last time I engaged in some other writing, a blog rather than a seemingly endless writing of essays and online debates was a day short of a month ago. Since… <br /><br />Ernest has been imprisoned for a brief period of 2 nights. It’s a long story, I should have written it exploiting the emotional heights but I feared to do so. <br />It is a fear that probably similar in experience of moments when I cannot avoid engaging in ‘communication’ with holocaust denying anti-Semites. Although rationally thinking a foolish fear. It is a different emotional response. Its magnitude however is so great that I stop being accountable, or at least I feel such way, so I make actually a rational decisions to halt communication – with the crazies – and I made the same choice when not telling about the toddlers’ prison. Hospitals here can be<br />Another emotional moment and the subsequent event came when Liliom hit a car while cycling. Unbelievable luck that it was not the other way around. <br />In the morning Ernest stood at the table …<br />…At this point the writing finished until about April 20th<br /><br />Last week Lili’s grandparents, Elisabeth and Gordon were visiting, from Scotland. They stayed for 10 days, it was a pleasant encounter. We don’t meet often, especially I. This post is not about their staying, I think I am maybe too self-centred now for that.<br /><br /> There was a small incident that describes well this entire year we have dedicated to our Hungarian ‘roots’. <br /><br />The first weekend our visitors were in Hungary we all stayed at my mother’s house outside of Fot, nearby Budapest spending the days in the city. On Sunday the three of them, Lili, Gran and Gordo we took into town. They were going to take a ride on one of the sightseeing buses of Budapest. It’s a convenient way to have a drive by and description of most prominent touristic sites of the city. The plan was to drive them to the city park dropping off at the stop for the sight bus. The section of the park where the bus would have stopped was closed for traffic. We then drove around to another part of the park from where they could have gotten to the bus or take a subway fairly easily to another bus stop. On weekends the no parking signs on the side streets there are generally ignored for a lack of adequate parking and an obvious high demand. Not that day however, parking tickets were vigorously applied to anyone daring to leave the care unattended. We couldn’t stop there. So as an alternate plan to the alternate plan we had to drive back to the neighbourhood where the end of line subway station is from where they could go into the city centre to take the tour bus. <br />We spent the entire year like this. Plan, plan B, improvised alteration for plan B, improvised plan C…<br /><br />I am looking forward to go home, so to speak. I have been talking of Oulu as home sort of half serious but I have come to realise that at the moment it seems home is rather there than here. For some time I have felt that the environment in which we enjoy our lives in Oulu is home. It is largely the people, similar semi-rootless bunch, the progressively inclined department at the uni, but also the way of life which until now, or at least the time a year ago has certainly bore the marks of a tolerant society where being different at worst brought a reaction of polite indifference. <br /><br />For some years now I have been watching what has been happening to Hungary, the political consequences of the new order. The backlash; how it so eagerly as a society resettles into pitiful hatred, racism, anti-semitism. A path towards nationalist fascism seems to be the preferred response, protection against corporatist capitalism and a reshaping form of sovereignty. I thought it was still important to me somehow, ‘my people’ governing themselves into a form of madness that seemed incomprehensible to come again in Europe. I realised I watched this as an outsider, or rather, as a soap on tv; interesting moral dilemmas but little real significance. Witnessing the elections in Finland helped me to this realisation.<br />I felt touched, we both felt touched with grave concerns. Is this menace coming there too? Is it really possible? Of course one shouldn’t be surprised if reading the signs beforehand but our gasping for air caught us of guard.<br />The climate in Szeged, using the word to mark the weather patterns, is just ideal for someone who loves the continental European weather. The cyclic changes of the seasons, the modest, gradual changes are wonderful to experience as the months flow by. <br /><br />Lili enjoyed being Hungarian for a while and perhaps this time has asserted, or to be more precise shaped a new part of her identity which she wasn’t there before. As a family we have learnt to rely on one and other more than ever, probably. Considering we haven’t managed to make much if any contacts otherwise with locals and outsiders here. I have enjoyed and still do spending time with the kids more than I ever had time for. I am looking forward to spend another year of the same from when we are back in Oulu, more so that we will have a familiar environment, familiar people. At least for me. Ernest and I will most certainly will miss the market. There is nothing that can possibly replace it. <br /><br />A recent event is an example, I believe of the uncertain life that is probably every day for people who are accustomed to life here. <br /><br />There is a case running for a minor offence against Liliom at the police. When the offence took place, the police informed us that there will be an investigation (because of the road traffic accident) but they haven’t bothered to tell that she would be charged with a minor offence. This offence is that she was not pushing her bike across the road but rode it. There was a green light for pedestrians which would have given her the right of way but because she was riding, she has lost it and it is therefore the car’s which was turning and almost run her down. Luckily she has run into the car at a slow speed and she wasn’t injured apart from a scratch and a scare. <br />…<br />It was an endless rent but also something else. A first attempt to summarise staying in Hungary. I realise that some of those who call this place home will find it disturbing, as already have had probably often, but I am never easy on the place where I reside and stay, the place that even if momentary is my home. And Hungary actually still happens to be one that I know in most detail. It isn’t personal. Although there may be a degree of frustration over inability to be acultured and content. <br /><br />As it happens, I repeated the post from April just yesterday intending to post it but ending up not bothering. I will attach it here although it is the same message in a very similar structure and speech. But I think once out there, I can move on the stopping panicking, and getting on to the otherwise wonderful and challenging process of moving our lives now 2000kms north.<br />May 4th as follows:<br /><br />I shall begin without promise of joyful happy pretty stories but perhaps still asserting I shall not engage in political blogging regardless of the now obvious unstoppable advance of European fascism. <br /><br />We are going home in the middle of June – at long last - to a place that may have changed significantly since we have left it. Last time in Finland the university reforms have shown a sign of things to come, in the far future, and we still believed that while bigot conservatism lurks beneath the grass, of a direction where social cohesion is largely enforced rather than negotiated, we believed it was still far out. Recent elections have shown that fascism is on the rise in Finland and the near future registration of the Nazi party shows a rapidly changing sentiment. It used to be a state which prided itself on tolerance. By the time we get home this may not be the case anymore. <br /><br />Still, perhaps in Finland we still have a fighting chance , making a stand before it’s too late. Here in Hungary, it feels even by the time we got here almost a year ago it was too late. The country now has a constitution that no longer recognises the equal worth of every individual in its political community and one that opens the doors to a constitutionally enforced (and often defined on racist terms) class society. Of course I know that the setting of new rules is always, as in the case of the Finish university reforms, merely an adjusting to the discourse, the sentiment and the practice that is already present and valid (in the sense that society largely functions along such values). <br /><br />To remain non-political perhaps it is best to turn towards a brief assessment of this past year. <br /><br />Weeks before we were due to depart from Oulu KELA broke the news to us that staying home with Ernest I will not be eligible the social benefits. I would have been should we have stayed in Finland instead of Hungary but Jen has been sent abroad as a student by a Finish organisation and not as an employee. We lost about 40% of income for this year with a stroke of a pen. Anyone in their right minds – now I think – would have called it off. We didn’t out of some real or perceived duty to grandparents, my parents here in Hungary. After a tight stay in Szeged now we are experiencing the difficulties to raise funds to make it home where we can start raising funds much easier (here we aren’t even allowed to take up employment without losing our Finnish social security). <br /><br />It has been a most interesting year perhaps in many ways but also a most disappointing. Ernest perhaps the one who realises the least what he may have been losing. Of course, he has benefited from spending more time with my parents, at least with my mother, and hear a lot more Hungarian than he would have otherwise but he didn’t have anyone his own age to hang out with as I failed to make contact with local stay at home mothers. Liliom perhaps is the sole beneficiary of this excursion. She has enjoyed the school year here although Jen and I at times concerned should she spend any more time here she would grow up to have difficulties accepting difference even if spending years at the Waldorf-Steiner school. Jen stated today, she has just wasted a year. Professionally certainly, she has managed to learn barely anything here and as a family we have no longer the resources to fund another exchange studies to universities where they offer courses that are along her professional and personal interests. Returning to Oulu she will have to retake a bunch of courses that were inappropriate here one way or the other. We haven’t managed to make friends in Szeged, I have tried to rekindle old friendships but my developing anti-nationalist and neo-Marxist, slightly syndicalist manners have gotten in the way. Jen I think made fairly good friend with a fellow exchange student also from Oulu. I spent the last year with an amazing array of bureaucratic encounters that I eventually got bored of noting down, dodging conversations that were potentially racist, fascist or at least based arguments on a mix of pseudo-scientific origin myths that on a good day I laugh at on a bad one I bite my tongue. The last year talked openly to Jen only without being concerned of or outright offending people. <br /><br />The hearing from Lili’s car crash has been today. We thought for some reason that it was going to be tomorrow so we missed it. It was a hearing of the two witnesses, the driver of the car and the person driving behind him. When I was at the police station couple of weeks ago I found out the case will not come to much. The traffic police started the process against Lili for braking some paragraph of traffic rules and crushing into a car causing some 60€ worth of damage. It will probably be a closed case since she is a minor and cannot be made legally responsible for her actions. Although they – the police – thought it was likely that the driver will not accept this and will claim damages on us. Never mind it was perhaps on a split of a second that it wasn’t Lili crashing into his car but his car crashing into a cycling 7 year old. In most other European countries I lived at before, this would be a case against the driver, or at least I want to believe that After all, the accident happened on a pedestrian crossing while the pedestrians had the green light and Lili was perfectly visible to the driver at all times, even before he started moving with his car (as previously he was standing at a red lamp). But this is the country where I spend running in circles, from office to office until I learn better that whatever the state does is perfectly logical and it is its subjects that are out of line.<br />I right now feel I will bless the day I eventually have packed up house and family. Shipping is on the way and kids are in the car. We are on the go. Maybe a roadtrip, a summer just the four of us, no huss and no fuss will help us to relax. <br /><br />But honestly, we bought a car. It’s a nice car although good Hungarian paranoia tells me we were cheated somehow and trouble will strike us. It’s hard to believe that the previous owner may have been a mostly decent, honest person telling as everything to the best of his knowledge. <br /><br />Ernest and I took the car to Szeged yesterday. The process to register it under my name will take a week or so for the car need to go under some examination of origin (making sure it wasn’t stolen or put together from a bunch of cars etc) and after that the insurance papers need to be changed and then the names on the car’s papers can be changed. Before initiating all these I hoped to get a monthly parking pass for the car as I am eligible as a resident in the inner town. I was told I can get that pass only once my names are on the papers and I should not kick up a fuss because it is really just a formality (at three different places which could take days at best). After reading the regulation issued by the City Council of Szeged I pointed out that none of the paragraphs administering resident based parking rights demand that the owner’s name has to be on the car’s papers, only that I either, as a resident have to own the car or have to have rights as permanent user of the car which I wish to park under my name . Since I have the contract of selling the car I have proven ownership of the car. Of course they asserted I was stupid and really just being difficult. I made an official complaint.<br /><br />About three months ago I made an official complaint and a suggestion at the university library. I was kindly informed they are sorry for the inconvenience and were already working on sorting out the problem at the time of my complaint. Today I could make the same complaint for so far they have not managed to finish that process. Remember to know your place, subject as in ‘object of the authorities’.<br />But all is well. We have had a royal wedding watched by billions.<br />…<br />I fell now better although I suspect only few, if any have gotten to read the last lines of this postKoivuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06450199416140791521noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1000853660597846003.post-49556599772515565362011-03-15T23:52:00.002+01:002011-03-16T00:00:35.797+01:0015th MarchThis afternoon once again I had the opportunity to watch someone drifting out of consciousness. Although if I am honest I of course have to admit that he wasn’t exactly drifting out only but also drifting into another one, into dream world. And it was a real pleasure to watch. I think in many routine, daily rituals I have forgotten to appreciate their beauty and use the occasion to move on, do something else while… but every now and again it is nice to anchor back to the reality of that other person.<br /><br />Ernest used to go to sleep on his own, even for day naps. He now proudly walks off to bed in the evenings and changes his mind only once or twice banging on the door. Day-aps at home are different. Once he gets really tired he would prefer to lie down on my lap, his legs tucked under my arms, his head balanced between my knees not quite rolling of either side, not quite hanging down but not resting particularly stable either. He used to be more relaxed about the posture but his recent experience with the Hungarian Health Care system (HNHS) made him a bit more fixated on these details. He would fall asleep like this while I read the papers (this would be news portals on the net), read some other article on the computer or perhaps play a game. <br /><br />I watched him drift away to dream world today. Perhaps recent experience called me to pay more attention, don’t know, it could also be a case of Jen using the computer and I couldn’t be bothered to reach for a book. <br /><br />In the morning, we were still in bed, just resting, relaxing, contemplating if we should get out of bed at all. It was the last morning before Lili is coming home, school starts and everything is back to normal. Ernest have been up for some time. He was hungry so I have provided him with some snacks. He kept bashing bread into our faces demanding we share his food. Eventually he got it, we weren’t hungry and it pissed him off so much he threw the whole thing in the corner. Than he sat down and pulled his socks off with a face ‘you called for this!’<br /><br />He knows we prefer him to have socks on, it’s a bit cold for the feet otherwise. So he wanted to hurt us by removing them. But he is a very organised and decent rebel because after taking his sock off he carefully put them back in his clothes cupboard making sure they are easy to find for later use (once they feet will start getting cold).<br /><br />But I was going to write about the big <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hungarian_Revolution_of_1848">pompous celebration</a> today. Some 150something years ago there was some kind of a revolution – there have been a whole bunch of them around Europe that year – which in Hungary turned to be longer war. The canon says it’s an independence war but I consider it more a civil war. (of course my perception is not that of the nation state, after all I look at WW1 as primarily not in inter-state but an intra-state war, a civil war as well between different classes within given societies)<br /><br />It’s a big thing! People walk about with the tricolour pinned to their chest all day, some even does it for days before. I have quit doing it 16 years ago, my motivation wasn’t that of the conformist ‘don’t get into politics’. <br /><br />But it’s a big day, even the prime minister has given a speech, and they say he really pulled out all the stop. Apparently he told the European commission to go and f#”k themselves, although he may have used slightly different wording. I bet you he enjoys all the pompous nonsense. He believes in some crazy stuff, they have a lot to share with Cameron. I couldn’t decide which one of them I would prefer. Probable neither.<br /><br />Lili asked me today what do people celebrate. I had difficulties answering. It’s a ritual of the state to craft and make-believe an imagined community in order to get people to do things in the name of and for this imagined community that otherwise they wouldn’t do in their right mind. She claimed she understood. We went to the park then. <br /><br />Yesterday, when I saw the communist party gathering on the square I wanted to ask them how can they match communism with displays of nationalism. It’s a question that could have been asked of those regimes this party is a remnant of. But I didn’t ask.Koivuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06450199416140791521noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1000853660597846003.post-43510190408157784672011-03-14T22:38:00.001+01:002011-03-14T22:41:18.751+01:00March 14thRecently I have been getting some kindly placed feedbacks that sound something like this ’reading nice life in Szeged is good...’ And accustoming myself with the stats page on blogger I realise it is true, people do like to read fun stuff, not so much not so fun stuff and politics definitely puts many of you off. It has been a difficult week and there have been some difficult experiences. There is politics and considering tomorrow’s pompous display of central European nationalism to come…<br />But lets not get ahead of ourselves.<br /><br />We put Lili on the train on Saturday afternoon with some classmates of Jen, my sister was waiting for her on the other end. She is spending a four days long weekend at my mother’s. Just as well, the rest of us aren’t the greatest company. I wouldn’t go into Ernest’s case now, that is for another time but I got ill too on Saturday although I managed to sleep it out within a day and Jen has fallen ill as well. It seems we picked up the bad stuff somewhere along the way. <br /><br />Still recovering but letting Jen have a rest Ernest and I went for a walk yesterday afternoon. Only a week ago it was around minus 10 in the mornings and we were happy if it was above zero in the afternoon now it gets up to 20 on the sun during the day. Even easy-going fellows like us are still perceptible to put on too much clothes when going out. <br /><br />After the park Ernest decided on going to our regular café but now sitting on the terrace. On the street down at the end of the square an ambulance screamed by. It was the ‘new born special unit’. I had to fight off my tears. I was still in a messed up state. <br /><br />After leaving our regular café we started walking home walking by the other café, on the corner which I just call ‘the café on the corner’ although it has a ‘proper’ name too. The terrace was full and the waiter was not so gently trying to help a man away from a table, I noticed it only a moment before the man toppled over the waiter and fell on the ground so I couldn’t have told if there was any ‘grievance’ between them or it was a genuine accident. He fell hitting his head on the stone, the waiter walked away hurriedly. <br /><br />Shocked instantly, with Ernest sitting on my arm I was the first one trying to help, he was lying on his back. Only had time to try to see if he could understand/hear me and wonder for a moment why am I the only one there, how will I turn him on his side as he was losing consciousness. Fortunately a paediatrician – as I later found out talking to her – came and helped me with the move and as the waiter was coming back around, delivering orders and taking new ones we asked him if they have called the ambulance yet? ‘ah, no.’ he said ‘we called the cops’. The two of us practically yelled at him to call an ambulance.<br /><br />I could do nothing more but I was shaken. I stood around, clinging to Ernest, feeling weird. I’ve never been looking into to eyes of someone who was slowly drifting out of consciousness. I watched the waiter. He was working, he was stressed, he was stressed already with work and he was stressed for what has happened. Eventually the paediatrician told him to wait for the ambulance where the fallen person was (she was rude, not gentle in her request, she was right although the manager of the café was nowhere to be seen to take charge). When the ambulance came he rushed back to work. The terrace has at least 50 tables, a busy day, only the two waiters. <br /><br />I went into the café and told the manager to give the guy a break, he most certainly needs it. The manager just looked at me with big eyes, unable to understand what my problem might be. I walked off. <br /><br />A brave new world it. On a Sunday afternoon a man falls on the street and the person who has been the closest to him when this happens, I am convinced an accident, does not have time to stop, think, help. I am sure the customers could have waited ten minutes. I am sure, I want to be sure. But no, he didn’t have the time, perhaps he didn’t have the will either. Maybe he knows this drunk, not paying for his bills, he has had enough. Maybe he pushed him a bit. <br /><br />There was an atmosphere at the ‘place on the corner’s terrace. As if that man has not deserved empathy for he didn’t belong there, he shouldn’t have come there, a semi-homeless drunk and crazy Christian whit his silly little gypsy blessings written on scraps of papers. He deserved his faith…<br /><br />Ernest and I went out for a walk again today. I wanted to go for a walk while he was asleep in the morning but since his recent sleepovers he wasn’t so keen. He heard me quietly getting ready and I could not go undetected. So we went together. More or less the usual route. We had cheesy treats today instead of the ginger biscuits. <br />We also saw the local communist party gathering for the pompous nationalist celebration. (more on that tomorrow). And we met him. He was there, with the communists. But then he seemed to have gotten bored of them and walked off. I approached him and we had a chat. Through me he now knows how he ended up in accident and emergency. I appreciated the blessing even if… but let’s not have a discussion on believes. ‘do take care of yourself!’ <br /><br />empathyKoivuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06450199416140791521noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1000853660597846003.post-26152191680151288472011-03-09T23:54:00.002+01:002011-03-09T23:58:26.369+01:00March 9thSpring cleaning. It's spring now. Of course locals don't quite call it a spring when it's regularly around minus ten in the mornings but we know better. I got an urge to spring clean. Maybe it has nothing to do with spring but the regular cleaning and tidying just cannot go on any longer. All the corners are full with clutter that is regularly or at some point some time ago has been shoved there so when we try to shove things away they just instantly flow back out. Lili's desk is like that, we clear and clean it sometimes than agree that she shall tidy away what she works on and with after finishing, for it is impossible to keep Everything there. Then things start to gather till only a very tiny worm or caterpillar could just wriggle there a little. <br /><br />Yesterday I had a go at their room and now the desk is clean. Finally it is ok for Ernest to work there too and he does love it. While Liliom is in school we gather some paper and very nicely play with the felt pens. I am surprised how long he manages to play 'nice', putting the tips back on and the pens back in their holders. I think soon grandparents and other volunteers can start receiving sophisticated pictures from Ernes. Lili really liked the one I put up in the kitchen today, she liked the colour coordination.<br /><br />In the afternoon when everyone was at home already I was in the kitchen while Ernest in the kid's room was drawing at the desk. Lili was reading. And Jen in the kitchen too when Ernest started shouting 'Apa, apa...' didn't stop. It turned out one of the lids fell on the floor and he needed help, someone to pick it up for him! He by the way also said Mum today. Lookin at one of Lili’s drawing he almost said cat, ‘cica’ but bother only with the second syllables. He might turn out a mumbler like the rest of us. <br /><br />Liliom wasn’t so keen on Ernest enjoying some drawing at Her desk. And the two of them cannot really handle it together. I think they both think that the other is just an extension of their own will and it is unbearable and unprocesseable to realise that it isn’t so. <br /><br /><br />I have been having a somewhat moody day. Had a nice day, yet, I feel a bit unexplainably not so good. Perhaps worried about something although we finally managed to get access to our bank account so we can re-engage with the money system. Yet there is still something. I spend a lot of time with Ernest and as he is not quite well (some diarrhea) I have plenty of time to worry about him. probably that's it. Or maybe somehting else. Can't quite put my figner on it. It's a shame though. Maybe it is just a lack of sleep and rest when spring is coming ( so I sit up blogging). I wanna do a spring cleaning, hang out with the kids all day, do a couple of online course and about a dozen other things. Silly. Anyways, I sit in a café while Liliom was in her ballet class and Jen prepped dinner with Ernest. Started reading a book. <br /><br />I got through reading much of the introduction of a book collection of existentialist writings. The book was published in 1966 in 'communist' Hungary. It eagerly provides a Marxist analysis and critique of existentialism explaining in detail how it is nothing but another example of the crisis of capitalist societies and a half-hearted reaction to the imperialist expansionism of capitalist states, to the fight for hegemony in the international system.<br /><br />The critique however seems to forget to maintain its own Marxist analysis and critique. But of course in '66 free speech was even more an issue in Hungary than nowadays. Or actually less an issue as there was not much to go around. Anyways, the Marxist criticism of the so called Marxist reality of the revolution would be that the personal cults were not the only immoral, damaging, unnecessary and false aspects of these regimes. After all 60s Hungary was also playing, and playing big time on nationalism, proto-fascist militarism and bourgeois greed. Besides, the so called communist countries while had a degree of barter system at the end they were also integrated within the international state system, an inherently capitalist system and they were also engaged in the same game of hegemony and imperialist expansionism as those evil capitalists. <br /><br />Funnily the editor of the book, writing the introductory analysis seemed to have difficulties placing some French fellows, Camus and Sartre who happened to be more or less Marxist themselves, Sartre convicted that existentialism was merely a critical development of Marxism, arguing similarly to Guevara (yes, that guy with the same first name as Hemingway) that drinking milk these days doesn't require one to declare himself to be a Pasteurian<br />, it's just simply how it is now, thus Marxist analysis isn't 'an' alternative to capitalism for instance, just this is how it is and would be foolish and inconsistent to think otherwise. (or something like that, can be googled). Camus was probably a syndicalist and few get more communist than them. <br /><br />Have you noticed my amasing list of tags?!<br />Jen thinks they are stupidKoivuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06450199416140791521noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1000853660597846003.post-31944901083055628832011-03-08T23:11:00.000+01:002011-03-08T23:21:34.707+01:00March 8thIt's international women's day today. Jen gives it a different name but I am too modest to type it. Apparently I should have been blogging in Victorian times. It's funny though that there are such things as this day. I think so long as there is an international day for women we don't even have to wonder 'are we equal'. The answer is given.<br /><br />I may have forgotten to mention about the flash mob some weeks ago. It was the first ever flashmob i have ever been to. And so far the last one but that is not the fm's fault. Simply there hasn't been another one since. So I am converted, yet, it was a pretty rubbish one, still I had been a lot more cheerful after it was finished, on a particularly moody day. The whole point of the fm actually is the cats who live on the ceiling. <br /><br />As part of the activity we were prompted to point at the sky as if there was something amazing up there and be totally amused by it for a while. That was the part that Ernest really got into. Ever since he engages in the occasional pointing up and being amused here and there. When he did it at home the first time, pointing at the ceiling, being amused he made the connection. It's an Ernest thing, anything amusing goes 'meow'. So there are cats who live on the ceiling.<br /><br />Today I invited one of them to come down for a wee while and she did. They are some small breed of cats so a comfortable fit in my palm and she purred away happily when I pat her back. We went over to Ernest and he had a go stroking the cat, it even went over into his palm. So i guess it was a particularly small breed of cats but hey, they live on ceilings. We were most amused. Every body joined in and taking turns we all enjoyed playing with the little creature until about some 37 seconds later Ernest realised that at this age this is how far his brain is willing to go on this. Never the less, I am happy, I was missing our friends (imaginary) of late and since Lili became all so not into imagining imaginary tings it's a lot harder to keep their company. Maybe for another few years she can be dragged back to it and I is going to be just that much better now; the four of us imagining things together.<br /><br />One more thing on looking up in amusement. At our local food store above the vegetable aisle there is a rather large air-conditioning vent. Liliom is most amused by it. I discovered that whenever she remembers to look up when we are there she just cannot take her eyes of it, completely tranced.<br /><br />She has been giving me some hugs this evening and at first I couldn’t imagine what is the sudden urge for the display of affection and love. Than I realised that just minutes before I have been recounting to Jen the conversations at parents' evening in school. I guess she must have overheard (ha-ha! Listening intently to) the part where I was bragging about how clever my daughter is. <br /><br />Apparently her teachers find it amusing that now whenever, wherever she meets the English teacher, she automatically converses in English.Koivuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06450199416140791521noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1000853660597846003.post-90375224882123611402011-02-27T23:29:00.001+01:002011-02-27T23:30:13.621+01:00February 27th<a href="http://who-knows-what-i-will-write.blogspot.com/2011/02/sunday-projects.html">http://who-knows-what-i-will-write.blogspot.com/2011/02/sunday-projects.html</a>Koivuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06450199416140791521noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1000853660597846003.post-22507436203318116622011-02-26T23:24:00.000+01:002011-02-26T23:37:55.536+01:00February 26thJen may be right,<br /><br />I have been doing some thinking about what has happened at the start of the month actually at that school board meeting with <a href="http://gvalter-szeged.blogspot.com/2011/02/16th-february-on-libraries.html">'that' look</a>.(1st paragraph) ‘That’ look which I thought shunned me for loving books and indoctrinating my children with them.<br /><br />And here perhaps I need say the kind of thinking that happened to me; Jen put me right and told me I was probably wrong. <br /><br />This whole issue came about and became particularly articulated in our home on Friday morning after I came home from dropping of Liliom at school. It has been snowing the night before and neither the janitor nor the other person trusted with shovelling snow off the paths could make it to school. They both live some 10 or 15 kms from the school and snow, especially quite some snow just makes it impossible to travel distance. The school bus for instance was more than an hour late. <br /><br />Anyways, I grabbed a snowploughingshovel, whatever they might be called, probably shovel and started clearing off the stairs and front of the school. I remained alone in my work although some other parents stood around smoking cigarettes on the street corner (they couldn’t even have the excuse of having to rush off to work). <br /><br />So Jen’s theory is that the look I was given on that school board meeting was a ‘you know what I’m talking about, you’re with me’ look. The exact opposite of what I have been theorising earlier. <br /><br />Grabbing something to do in and around the school when it is there to do is very much in line with the Steiner philosophy and I have been trying to take an active part in the life of the school. Let’s hope that my reading of ‘looks’ is just lousy, and lets hope I am not as paranoid as I think I am (a rather paranoid wish).<br /><br />A funny addition to the book issue. Yesterday in the Library while Jen was cruising the snowy street of Szeged frantically searching for her passport - which she also moved to the location of the home – with the children I had some pretty ok time at the library. Ernest was fascinated by all the children and their fascination with either the books or him while Lili somehow managed to find the very book her teacher reads stories from. That was a good catch amongst the possible tens of thousands of books just in the children’s library but it was also a welcome revelation realising that although in first grade at the stiener school they may not be too encouraging about books, they don’t burn them.Koivuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06450199416140791521noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1000853660597846003.post-12906827801836395882011-02-24T21:18:00.000+01:002011-02-24T21:25:35.002+01:00February 24thErnest is now clever as a monkey! <br /><br />This morning I was prepping breakfast, a jug of water was already on the table but the glasses were still on their way when I noticed that Ernest couldn’t wait and using a stick (a pencil) he managed to extract water from the narrow ‘waterhole’. A scene from nature movies. <br /><br />Otherwise we do civilised – in the contemporary modernist sense – activities with the children as well. For instance Jen helped Liliom learn crocheting yesterday amidst some frustration. It seems at times Lili while no fuss no trouble learns anything at school without much questioning at home she exercises the critical thinking we so keenly teach her to. She does it without critically thinking of her critical approach however so even when comes to copying a mechanical process she will insist that something is wrong with it and do it some other creatively invented way. Usually a more complicated and not quite workable way.<br /><br />On this topic some more; the other day she practically ripped my heart out. It hurt. <br />They were given the recorders finally and learnt a song on it straight away. On the way home she let me know about this fantastic development. I had a suspicion and whistled the song I thought it may be when she told me it wasn’t that song. I wondered because it is the simplest song – of Hungarian origin – I know and this is the one I taught her on our recorder. <br /><br />At home she showed us the new treasure, which is a simpler instrument than ours, a recorder nevertheless. Then she played the song I whistled and we learnt to play years ago. <br /><br />Later she excitedly telling me about the day, she told me about a classmate who ‘imagine’ was the only one who already knew the song and could play it. This was the point where it particularly hurt for I realised this is not merely a conflict between school and home, which is one to be expected with parents like Jen and I. It runs deeper. It may be that without explanation one is already able to see it, I cannot articulate the issue now, too much is running through my head. <br /><br />The morning with Ernest was more relaxing than contemplating issues of identity, social and self created or perceived pressures to assimilate and value based conflicts and shaping of multiple identities while attempting to integrate in a host society.<br /><br />While I ran through the news, which is Al Jazeera now, for they are the only ones not only reporting from places where the most people died yesterday but actually trying to report from everywhere in the middle east, Ernest spent some time playing with the wooden trains lining the cars next to each other than pushing them across the room. After getting across, turning back. <br /><br />Fortunately we didn’t pick up playing with the beads: from one container to another than back to the first one. Those beads by the way came from a set of bangles (wrist bands) about which Lili was right. They would snap. <br /><br />When I finished with the news it was time for me to get on the ground and involved with those trains. I think the wooden train set is another set of toys that is recommended only to people who are at least smart as an average ape when obviously a monkey can play with them too. At times I wonder what do I make of it all, Ernest and trains. I tried to be neutral about them and encourage only his interest and actions but at which stage one has to admit that there are other people who participate in socialising our children and his ‘natural’ affection for objects with wheels attached is not necessarily so natural while some continuously would argue at me that they are. <br /><br />Eventually we moved on to trying to find a clean pair of tights which took some time but we returned to the trains a little longer before leaving for the... <br />...shopping mall. A chance to run, do some shopping, grab some lunch and generally be somewhere else than home but not the street. This kind of place used to be the uni at Oulu but Szeged lacks a similar... hm, place just sounds so simple and degrading but I guess it should do, place. <br /><br />He got stuck by a lawn mower on display. It had wheels you see. I had to bribe with satsumas. You remember them, the cause of collapse of global ethics and international agreements. <br /><br />Back to Lili, yesterday I noticed some difference in her behaviour at different times. Last week when it was ski break she spent a lot of times with books, especially after our visit to the library on Tuesday. Now that she is back to school she spends an incredible amount of time knitting or crocheting. We certainly have an issue here <a href="http://gvalter-szeged.blogspot.com/2011/02/16th-february-on-libraries.html">described in detail earlier but just recently posted</a><br /><br /><a href="http://gvalter-szeged.blogspot.com/2011/02/17th-february-on-train.html">And a week ago on our way to the capital city</a> (where we got into a car and drove off to my mums place which is ironically is where the definition of periphery was first contemplated)<br /><br />I bought Ernest a cleaning set. <br /><br />It’s been snowing all day. four months ago I prophesised daffodils for the end of February. I begin to wonder if an old friend was wrong about me... or my field perhaps isn’t weather planning and forecast.Koivuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06450199416140791521noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1000853660597846003.post-31411949924791397852011-02-24T21:15:00.000+01:002011-02-24T21:18:24.758+01:0017th February - On the TrainWe have been sitting on the train for the last near two hours. Finally the heating is starting to kick in and it’s kicking real hard. I wonder if I should roast or turn it off than freeze. It’s only the three of us again. Jen is staying home to work on her thesis. In some ways she feels it’s a shame to lose out on hanging out with us in some other ways she was really looking forward to being able to not only sleep in but generally just sleep without Ernest jumping on her head from early dawn. When she told me about the possibility of just spreading out her papers on the table while working without having to quickly put them back in a folder after 45 minutes when we come home from the shops or Ernest wakes up I literally got a jealous rage (clearly we miss having a study).<br /><br /> Ernest fell asleep after the first half hour, considering his lack of sleep during the night he was due a nap. Lili is sitting in the luggage rack taking care of her own entertainment so I am pleased to sit here and enjoy typing away for no apparent reason or purpose. Just enjoying the typing. <br /><br />I have been doing some thinking recently. Jen staying home because she has to work and we are away on our great adventure to visit my mother and spend a day with my father. She thinks it kind of sucks that she has to stay home – as I mentioned before. It’s kind of true. But nowadays as a stayathome parent I have a lot of time to stay at home – obviously not literally - and parent. I realise I must have been missing out before. Considering my previous bloggings for instance I came to see that this time it’s different. I often manage to write cute and fairly interesting stories yet this time around I have no need to call on the aids of imaginary friends of all sorts. Liliom and Ernest provides us with plenty of opportunity to tell interesting stories without adding much if anything. Perhaps the odd politically inclined or motivated metaphor, interpretation, call to arms. And encounters with the odd medical professional.<br /><br />(and this was the point when Ernest got up)Koivuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06450199416140791521noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1000853660597846003.post-58312062234148811122011-02-24T21:12:00.000+01:002011-02-24T23:07:47.445+01:0016th February - On LibrariesLast week on the school board meeting conversation jumped off the agenda a bit and discussed topic became rather unworthy of the elevated nature of the board: bitching about some families and parents. A fellow member had a passing comment about parents who not only don’t pay the fees (they are called ‘offerings’ – because we are not a private school!), not only don’t participate in the school but there are some homes where you feel the parents work against the philosophy of the school. In this last part she looked at me meaningfully.<br /><br />Yesterday we were in the library with the children. With Ernest we go regularly, at least once a week and I remember with Liliom we used to go often as well, back in Oulu, till I started uni when it became a rare outing. In her own gentle ways she has been trying to let me know that this isn’t right. So recently I have begun a constructive response and decided that at least every other week we will make it there with her. <br /><br />Since there is a ski break and we don’t ski in the dry and snowless southern plains of hungary we hang out all day and do things like going down to the market together, playing with clay, painting the kids cardboard playhouse. And yesterday we have been to the library. <br /><br />Should I let Lili, she would take home all the books. Should I let me I would do the same but fortunately there is a very strict limit of six books per library card, we have three in the family. Eighteen books is still enough. <br /><br />Lili carrying a handful of books to the desk to check out, with Ernest marching right behind her with another couple of books he has chosen is a wonderful sight. Lili then sitting in the armchair at home surrounded by and disappearing behind books practically piled on top of her is another wonderful sight. Jen relived of her concerns for Ernö not bothering with books now they sitting on the sofa reading books to each other is another sight putting tears in one’s eyes. <br /><br />We love books. I love books. I always have, as far as I can remember. I cannot remember my parents actively encouraging me but I am certain it was there. I love doing the same for my children, I love helping them to build a habit of using libraries and an appreciation for them. Books are incredibly important and certainly a far more productive way of receiving stories than television. <br /><br />In steiner schools to begin with, books are pretty much shunned. First graders should know nothing of letters and spelling and reading and writing and all that and in some ways, generally be illiterate in the world of books. Hence Jen’s recent <a href="http://who-knows-what-i-will-write.blogspot.com/2011/02/today-she-learned-letter-d.html">blogpost about their ‘learning’ the letter ‘D’</a>. In In Lili’s school this doctrine seems to be taken seriously. I tell my colleagues at the school board and fellow parents about our lives. Liliom tells about our adventures during circle times in the mornings and an outing to the library for her is an exciting adventure, and a return packed with interesting stories, facts and science. <br /><br />There is a conflict of interest with the very school we chose and pay for yet so long as I hear seven years old kids chatting on the school playground about the recent Madonna and other music videos I know that I have the moral high ground. Anyone finds it a problem?Koivuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06450199416140791521noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1000853660597846003.post-80594879130930335612011-02-13T22:39:00.001+01:002011-02-13T22:44:44.850+01:00February 13th<span xmlns=''><br /> </p><p>I'm sitting here feeling a bit like a hen. Although I know there will be no chicks hatching and hopefully nothing will but I seem to have volunteered myself to a new form of making yoghurt (probably isn't so new). The milk has been prepared already and infested by live yoghurt and now in jars wrapped up it needs some heat. I provide that. <br /></p><p>Anyways,<br /></p><p>I had my sandals walk yesterday. Happened to be the day when a new cold approached. Nevertheless it was fun and I enjoyed it but was glad to have breaks from the wind, going to the market, to a café and then to the library. I hoped for some locks of disbelief and utter confusion on sight of my toes but I never got it. I think people once they see you got dreadlocks they automatically assume they should assume the opposite of what they assume of another being. <br /></p><p>Ernest didn't have sandals on, he doesn't own a pair as yet and he was doing less walking an more sitting. Besides, that I'm sure wouldn't go down without comments. Lili and Jen didn't come as they were home engaged with some painting project. The very reason they two of us left the house. <br /></p><p>At the market Ernest helped me load up with veg, at times a bit overenthusiastic but this new approach to being on the market most of the time saves me from having to run after him. I may have said before but I will say again, the market is nice. It is nice to be familiar with vendors, they yell or nod a hello even if we just walking buy and not getting any of their stuff right that day. Wee chats and just a generally friendly atmosphere. Next week that Lili is on ski break finally she will get to come with us as well. I think she has been feeling a bit left out from all these fun stuff we do with Ernest during the days when she is at school (of course yesterday wasn't a school day but she was busy (with some other fun stuff)).<br /></p><p>Ski break. Hm. Just about most of the people cannot afford to go on a ski holiday during the skibreak, or ever. So there is a holiday organized during school term for those who are well off. While some of those families aren't going to go on ski holiday during the ski holiday but at some other more suitable time – for them. Their absence can be accepted no trouble (in a country where otherwise they are incredibly strict with absence signed for by parents. Next time Lili is off school I will just say we were away skiing).<br /></p><p>After the market another walk and Ernest fell asleep. I took shelter, coffee and a paper in our new favourite cafe. I left him a third of the cottage cheese sour cherry pie which when eventually awake he thought was an insult. 'We should just get on the road' he said and 'come on, come on, there is not time to waste' while standing already in the door, ready to slip out should someone foolishly open it. Managed to convince him to get dressed. I got my jacked and scarf and hat and gloves on finishing off the pie and off we... no.<br /></p><p>'What did you do?!' he asked utterly puzzled by my idea of leaving. 'You ate it?!' and he climbed on the chair hovering up the last crumbles from the plate 'We have to eat!' he looked at me with those beautiful puppy eyes….. yeay, whatever. That is not how things go these days. He screamed! No. sorry, wrong. Actually and surprisingly he didn't at this stage. So I was getting the puppy eyes and 'please, please, please! He more less patiently waited till I got another slice of pie, desperately trying to clime onto the coutner and over to where all the good stuff was. We sat down and then the screaming begun. <br /></p><p>The reality, and we are talking a visual appearance and texture of the pie, somehow did not match Ernest's expectations. And he did what the 18motnhs old does nowadays; screamed and shouted and threw himself on the ground. At times it is almost entertaining. In public places however people, many people want children controlled so it is easy to feel some pressure. Eventually he calmed down, scuffed up the pie than completely casually brought up the issue of leaving 'what are you sitting about? Let's go!' </p></span>Koivuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06450199416140791521noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1000853660597846003.post-73568451942164166032011-02-11T21:10:00.001+01:002011-02-11T21:13:57.455+01:00February 11th<span xmlns=''><p><br /> </p><p>Jen has been pacing a journey recently, and I suppose she still is about blogging. She is finding it difficult to move away from status updates into blogs. She claims she can express wisdom in a sentence or two. It's a very finnish mentality. All that talking some others do may not come to saying much. (saying this after i have been neglecting blogging / saying much/ for nearly a week – but I have my culprit, my scapegoat in Ernest for depriving me of precious sleep and another in the deathly UN course and yet another in school politics. (this last one especially shall be revisited later shall I not tire of typing.))<br /><br /></p><p>Perhaps it is best to start a new paragraph.<br /></p><p>Types of blogging... hm, perhaps some are just ways of small talk. I can't do small talk. I blog small talk or at least I try. And here I shall thank Jen for helping me to think about blogging; a kind of aims talk, thinking. Of course I could turn around and curse her for showing me the parts of my blogger account where i can trace number and origins of hits on my posts. However, I was complaining about no feedback and tracking your audience perhaps is a active form of seeking feedback. Best to let go. <br /><br /></p><p>I intended to go for walks in sandals for footwear this week but i oalways only remembered once out on the street. It was warm. Had a chat at the school some two days ago with one of the teachers about the time being ripe to start wearing sandals and she thought I was kidding. No I wasn't . In Oulu I am usually the first one but now I am increasingly concerned that because of my lack of paying attention to it someone will beat me to it. Naturally I will be able to hide behind the fact that in Oulu sandals happen in the last week of arpil at the earliest which is still far and that is way I am just still too wintery in my thinking but still, there is apparently serious competitive spirit in me and in this most important are of life I will not be last! Or second even.<br /><br /></p><p>I remember on Sunday we went for a walk and it was warm enough no to wear hats (it was warm enough for sandals too I think, now). Ernest was utterly confused. He just really didn't want to accept it. 'you go out, you put you hat on!' goes the mantra, can't imagine how it would be in Oulu. Although there this mantra is there year around. They just give a different reasoning for the kids.<br /></p><p>Ok, I run out of steam... to be continued </p></span>Koivuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06450199416140791521noreply@blogger.com0