Yesterday I was going to tell about our Library visit but it wasn’t coming together, I forgot the core of my saying, or at least the aspect that would have provided some moral message (alas politics).
Once posting and putting away the computer it came to me and sitting in the library today I had to work hard to keep on task rather than chattering away on my blog. It was an especially gruesome task as my essay topic is anything but fun. And don’t get me wrong here. Although I do stress out about essay and always, always think that I haven’t researched enough and my notes are nowhere near organised enough (which usually is true) and I believe that i haven’t enough reference (way off, I scare people with the amount of referencing I can do). It is a productive stress mostly and I enjoy writing academically too so the reason I end up moaning about an essay topic is nothing like the usual student whining where one is constantly in an end of the world mood when ask to produce evidence of cognitive process. It is simply that writing about what may have gone wrong in a process to result in genocide is simply a shit topic.
So I managed and as I was deprived coffee, the library was in preparation for a charity ball so facilities of codeine dispersal were non-functioning, I am sitting in a cafe now before returning home. It’s a bit of a wind down, although my brain was fried and needed some buffer before Ernest.
Here is the chance than, which also functioned as a ‘carrot’. The library experience.
Actually now I am starting to be concerned there may have been way to much raising tension and expectation before... ops.
Usually we go to the library as a morning activity with Ernest. We like to rain in the place when it is mostly empty. I however started to feel that we are depriving Liliom from the chance of having a more sophisticated roaming than what we have with Ernest so decided that it is necessary to have a session. The three of us set out leaving Jen home to study and we found a very different library from what I am used to with Ernest. It was round 4pm and packed. There were children and young people everywhere. It was really nice to see that there are members of the following generation who still believe books have value.
Asked Lili to chose a book for me from four available by Sven Nordquist. She took her work incredibly serious and spent a lot of time browsing the books. Eventually she came up to me with two of them letting me know that those two were the best, we are taking them both. Then she went on to find some other stuff while it became increasingly difficult for me to ‘contain’ Ernest. He was tired and in such circumstances he becomes what we refer to as ‘high maintenance’. Adding to this I forgot to change sock and in my warm winter socks in the incredibly heated building I was slowly dying of warm feet. Eventually we had to go.
On leaving Liliom has showed me one more book she wanted to take. It was a children’s book by a guy called Wass Albert. Only recently I realised he was into writing children stories, since we started to go to library here and I find that amongst the newest books available there are many penned by him. He is a bit of a cult nowadays among, hm, patriots of Hungarian origin. In his life he was very pro-Hungarian and perhaps not offending to say extremely nationalist. For his excuse, growing up in 20th century Transylvania as a member of the former ruling elite I can understand why he had rather negative perception of so called others. Apart from romantic nationalism and the extreme stylistically tackiness, cheapness in his writing (vow, I bet I gut some fuses blown with this one) I wouldn’t have problem with Lili exploring his book.
Unfortunately it is his wider political views, having openly been supporter of fascist regimes and - in emigration – organisations and periodicals I simply said to Lili ‘sorry, but the guy who wrote that book was a fascist, I don’t want you reading that book’. I managed to raise some eyebrows and we were off. Lili was cool with it. There will be time she will read what she well please. For the time being I try to help her into reading books by people who think that empathy and solidarity is the birthright of every human being.
(should this have been written into the blog yesterday, it would have meant three ‘moral’ issues in an apolitical blog – I rock)