Saturday, 14 May 2011

May 14th

I was going to start with saying that it is the final night before all attention can finally stir towards... but I then realised there are things that one cannot write in a blog. It is not a journal per se. There are things that one, a family better keeps private. Of course afterwards, should it come to that, I could always claim it is a partially imaginary blog of imaginary characters and imaginary events. I do have a history of that. It’s better untold though, if for no other reasons than for the dramatic effect of starting with such a paragraph. I will try to keep to that for the time being and I will move on to saying something after this mystical start to something else and meaningful.

I had a brilliant idea a couple of days ago. It was on Thursday evening before dinner, after my 5 hours shift at the school as a receptionist. Increasingly, after three, when most of the children are already gone and things are a bit more quiet I hang out on the playground chatting away with parents or the after school care assistants (the playground is right in front of the school so I can still keep an eye out, who is going in and out of the building). This last occasion I was talking with a fellow parent, or more appropriately describing the situation I was interrogated by a fellow parent about school systems in various countries. I could tell mostly of the Nordic, especially the Finnish and of course the British, especially the Scottish systems. They are considering of emigrating and the biggest concern they have is the kids.

In some aspect I had to have a laugh for having that as the biggest concern. Shows how inexperienced they are about moving to another country within Europe. Our experience is that the kids do fairly well so long as parents get over the culture and other shocks. Also, when it comes to school systems, if they are moving west and northward from Hungary, it can only get better.

I did my best to tell, in brief about emigrating, but especially being a newcomer, perhaps the strongest point I made was about relationship. Such move will not fix a dysfunctional one, in fact it requires a well-functioning one to be successful. Of course, most people I talk to about leaving here want to leave because of the environment which is still called the Republic of Hungary (till 1st January 2012). It turns out some 16 present of the adult population of Hungary (roughly 1 million people) seriously believe that the best choice in their lives would be to leave for good).

So I had an idea that we should start up an enterprise, a small company training, advising, coaching people on emigrating and immigrating to a new host country. At dinner I sat staring into nothing for a minute chewing my food and came up with yet another idea and started to laugh out loud. To a puzzled Lili and Jen I explained that once we settle down in Hungary for good with this immigration coaching enterprise we could also set up an export business sending meat delicacies to all these places where we have been sending people. To this Jen has added that with the same trucks we export food we could also ship people’s belongings when they are moving. We set for life.

A few minutes later Lili mimicked my conversation starting strategy; chewing her food, staring into nothing, laughing out loud. On our inquiry she presented a story from school, something they were playing. A seven year old telling a story that is funny for a seven year old while both laughing and eating in the process just left us clueless. Anyways, she was entertained and somehow so were we.
But this place has a sad history of emigration and I have begun to wonder about the actuality of this history. Of course most European countries throughout the 19th century were places from where vast numbers of people left and Hungary is no different. It’s easy to assume an economic reason for emigration back then although I am not always convinced that is the sole reason. When poverty stops being the primary reason is post WW1. During the dictatorships of the 20th century in continuous trickles but also in waves an incredible number of people left or fled. I think the biggest exodus took place in the late 50s after the uprisings in 56 when the borders were left sort of open on purpose and some one million people ‘slipped’ west.

Now so many ‘real’ Hungarians want to get rid of some parts of this society, preferably by forcing them to leave. they would be happy to see the Roma flee. Yet I have the feeling if this sentiment doesn’t change and especially if general values and processes don’t normalise in the society in few years’ time another mass exodus shall take place and it won’t be the poor and disadvantaged leaving, there is no new promised land like in the late 19th century. It will be large chunks of the middle classes. After… there will be no mercy for those who stay behind.
I usually look at worst case scenarios, it is a cultural trace I carry still. But I believe that many conformist here when feeling they cannot confront the situation but also not willing to comply will leave.

Less depressing things.

We have seen a book the other day on the sale: How to tame your toddler? A typical DIY know it all book. We didn’t buy. This morning I wiped the table with Ernest. Literally.

He has a bad habit, some of you maybe know already, he likes to pour things. From his perspective it is not a bad habit at all. Liquid, volumes, vessels, gravity make fascinating experiments. Now he knows we watch. And he notices when we don’t. This morning he spilled the jug of water on the table, on Lili’s book too. So I laid him with his back on the table and soaked up the water. Maybe I shouldn’t tell you about this. He was screaming. I changed him into dry clothes straight away. Maybe I over reacted. After facing our highly politically not correct commentary on his pouring a carton of juice into are bad next time he only poured it next to our bed. He does understand only choosing to disregard.

Maybe I should feel comfy telling this. All parents have their inappropriate moments. And usually they don’t define our relationships with our children. In the afternoon we managed to have ice cream without anyone screaming. That was a development for example. Usually Ernest screams and we rarely know why. It’s weird. With ice creams there is always an issue.

Lili spent the afternoon moaning how hot it was and surely it was, but if we always complain about the weather conditions than we never actually not complain about it and I don’t like that. It’s very local.

We had a talk a few days ago about hoarding things into bed at night. She has a bad habit of it. I told her that she can take one thing at a time. This issue came up when Eszter (her teacher) recently sawn together the bear Lili knit. She wanted to take all the bears to bed that night. Since I noticed that she is according to agreement only takes one bear a night and it is always a different one. As we agreed.
I also noticed that the ones that make it to bed don’t leave next morning. As of tonight, all bears are on sight. How she fits in the bed I don’t know.
And finally, on the moving front.

Not the front that is moving but we are moving and that has a front. Let’s rephrase. Finally, on the topic of moving. Before I confuse myself
the car business has been completely finalised. All paperwork is through.
The car cost a little under 700€

All the paperwork (not counting insurance and yearly car owners’ tax (this last to be paid later)) 260€

The beauty of this is that my mum who is also just recently bought a care for roughly 12260€ spent also 260€ on paperwork (truthfully less because we also had to pay 30€ for changing the number plate). No further comments

One more

When Jen is writing essays also using the net and I am too lazy to read or sleep or go for a bath and wash my hair I blog. What kind of person that makes me

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