March 14th

Recently I have been getting some kindly placed feedbacks that sound something like this ’reading nice life in Szeged is good...’ And accustoming myself with the stats page on blogger I realise it is true, people do like to read fun stuff, not so much not so fun stuff and politics definitely puts many of you off. It has been a difficult week and there have been some difficult experiences. There is politics and considering tomorrow’s pompous display of central European nationalism to come…
But lets not get ahead of ourselves.

We put Lili on the train on Saturday afternoon with some classmates of Jen, my sister was waiting for her on the other end. She is spending a four days long weekend at my mother’s. Just as well, the rest of us aren’t the greatest company. I wouldn’t go into Ernest’s case now, that is for another time but I got ill too on Saturday although I managed to sleep it out within a day and Jen has fallen ill as well. It seems we picked up the bad stuff somewhere along the way.

Still recovering but letting Jen have a rest Ernest and I went for a walk yesterday afternoon. Only a week ago it was around minus 10 in the mornings and we were happy if it was above zero in the afternoon now it gets up to 20 on the sun during the day. Even easy-going fellows like us are still perceptible to put on too much clothes when going out.

After the park Ernest decided on going to our regular café but now sitting on the terrace. On the street down at the end of the square an ambulance screamed by. It was the ‘new born special unit’. I had to fight off my tears. I was still in a messed up state.

After leaving our regular café we started walking home walking by the other café, on the corner which I just call ‘the café on the corner’ although it has a ‘proper’ name too. The terrace was full and the waiter was not so gently trying to help a man away from a table, I noticed it only a moment before the man toppled over the waiter and fell on the ground so I couldn’t have told if there was any ‘grievance’ between them or it was a genuine accident. He fell hitting his head on the stone, the waiter walked away hurriedly.

Shocked instantly, with Ernest sitting on my arm I was the first one trying to help, he was lying on his back. Only had time to try to see if he could understand/hear me and wonder for a moment why am I the only one there, how will I turn him on his side as he was losing consciousness. Fortunately a paediatrician – as I later found out talking to her – came and helped me with the move and as the waiter was coming back around, delivering orders and taking new ones we asked him if they have called the ambulance yet? ‘ah, no.’ he said ‘we called the cops’. The two of us practically yelled at him to call an ambulance.

I could do nothing more but I was shaken. I stood around, clinging to Ernest, feeling weird. I’ve never been looking into to eyes of someone who was slowly drifting out of consciousness. I watched the waiter. He was working, he was stressed, he was stressed already with work and he was stressed for what has happened. Eventually the paediatrician told him to wait for the ambulance where the fallen person was (she was rude, not gentle in her request, she was right although the manager of the café was nowhere to be seen to take charge). When the ambulance came he rushed back to work. The terrace has at least 50 tables, a busy day, only the two waiters.

I went into the café and told the manager to give the guy a break, he most certainly needs it. The manager just looked at me with big eyes, unable to understand what my problem might be. I walked off.

A brave new world it. On a Sunday afternoon a man falls on the street and the person who has been the closest to him when this happens, I am convinced an accident, does not have time to stop, think, help. I am sure the customers could have waited ten minutes. I am sure, I want to be sure. But no, he didn’t have the time, perhaps he didn’t have the will either. Maybe he knows this drunk, not paying for his bills, he has had enough. Maybe he pushed him a bit.

There was an atmosphere at the ‘place on the corner’s terrace. As if that man has not deserved empathy for he didn’t belong there, he shouldn’t have come there, a semi-homeless drunk and crazy Christian whit his silly little gypsy blessings written on scraps of papers. He deserved his faith…

Ernest and I went out for a walk again today. I wanted to go for a walk while he was asleep in the morning but since his recent sleepovers he wasn’t so keen. He heard me quietly getting ready and I could not go undetected. So we went together. More or less the usual route. We had cheesy treats today instead of the ginger biscuits.
We also saw the local communist party gathering for the pompous nationalist celebration. (more on that tomorrow). And we met him. He was there, with the communists. But then he seemed to have gotten bored of them and walked off. I approached him and we had a chat. Through me he now knows how he ended up in accident and emergency. I appreciated the blessing even if… but let’s not have a discussion on believes. ‘do take care of yourself!’

empathy

February 11th

 

Jen has been pacing a journey recently, and I suppose she still is about blogging. She is finding it difficult to move away from status updates into blogs. She claims she can express wisdom in a sentence or two. It's a very finnish mentality. All that talking some others do may not come to saying much. (saying this after i have been neglecting blogging / saying much/ for nearly a week – but I have my culprit, my scapegoat in Ernest for depriving me of precious sleep and another in the deathly UN course and yet another in school politics. (this last one especially shall be revisited later shall I not tire of typing.))

Perhaps it is best to start a new paragraph.

Types of blogging... hm, perhaps some are just ways of small talk. I can't do small talk. I blog small talk or at least I try. And here I shall thank Jen for helping me to think about blogging; a kind of aims talk, thinking. Of course I could turn around and curse her for showing me the parts of my blogger account where i can trace number and origins of hits on my posts. However, I was complaining about no feedback and tracking your audience perhaps is a active form of seeking feedback. Best to let go.

I intended to go for walks in sandals for footwear this week but i oalways only remembered once out on the street. It was warm. Had a chat at the school some two days ago with one of the teachers about the time being ripe to start wearing sandals and she thought I was kidding. No I wasn't . In Oulu I am usually the first one but now I am increasingly concerned that because of my lack of paying attention to it someone will beat me to it. Naturally I will be able to hide behind the fact that in Oulu sandals happen in the last week of arpil at the earliest which is still far and that is way I am just still too wintery in my thinking but still, there is apparently serious competitive spirit in me and in this most important are of life I will not be last! Or second even.

I remember on Sunday we went for a walk and it was warm enough no to wear hats (it was warm enough for sandals too I think, now). Ernest was utterly confused. He just really didn't want to accept it. 'you go out, you put you hat on!' goes the mantra, can't imagine how it would be in Oulu. Although there this mantra is there year around. They just give a different reasoning for the kids.

Ok, I run out of steam... to be continued