May 26th - 27th

We have been psyching ourselves for some days now to take the leap. I think I am almost into it now, on a kind of ‘just do it’ slogan. For once I could make my parents happy. In the past year or so they haven’t failed to let me know they believe my inability to integrate has a great deal to do with me. Especially a particular quality of mine. It is now the day to remove this obstacle.

I may fear that even though they think such, they may be wrong. My immediate reaction to particular cultural strands of this locality has always determined my interaction with figures of the establishment and even general interaction. I can’t go on. I cannot say it yet. at this stage it isn’t final and my psyching still requires work.

Maybe later

On Tuesday Liliom was given a new role in the big ballet performance. Last week when she presented us her part she immediately commanded our respect and amusement and realised that our child whom we often accuse of a lack of concentration is capable to an amazing level of it. The fact that she has been chosen to learn a new part only a handful of sessions before the show actually highlights how wrong we were. Her teacher apparently trusts her most to be able to pull it off. I guess we usually expect her to maintain focus and attention like a regular grown up, but we don’t spend time with other young ones her age to realise that she is perhaps a rather focused person.

However, in the mornings she puts all this to question. For ten months now every morning we have the exact same weekday morning routine. Yet, she still needs constant reminders on the next step in the great task of getting ready. Of course, probably far as she is concerned this constant nagging is part of the routine too.

Ernest is a different case. He decided that the appropriate time to get up is a minimum of 90 minutes before the alarm would suggest so. He has taken on to serenade us. The other day he just sat at the end of the bed singing away. When having enough of that he started taking out various instruments and played us music of all kinds. My favourite was the ukulele. Is the ukulele. He plays a song and he sings along giving himself a round of applause after each song. It has become a new hobby of his.

We have started planning our route to the far north. For a long time we only had the 2 stops in Hungary, Budapest to say our good byes and Aggtelek in the north east where I promised Liliom some pretty caves. Now we have some vague and some pretty solid ideas for the days we are en route to Oulu. With Jen however we had an argument last night about the starting moment of the journey. She claimed it starts once we leave Budapest considering that is where the final packing and readying will take place. I claimed however that it will start when we drive away from Szeged on the grounds that that is when our flat is given up and we are only stopping at Budapest to meet up with some folk (my parents) and to take part in Budapest Pride.

I think she was surprised how uncompromising I was in my view and tried to tell me that it is ok to disagree but I wasn’t listening much, we dropped it. This morning we were talking about the journey, sorry, The journey when I realised that when I mentioned something about the beginning of the road trip I actually referred to leaving from Budapest as the start of it. I think she hasn’t noticed it but then writing it here perhaps gonna give it away. I now publicly admit she is right.

Another day has passed. I was going to finish the circle of this entry last night but haven’t gotten to it.

Maybe I haven’t mentioned before that we have been having some issues of infestation. The kind that goes on at school, but doesn’t stay at school. We were completely oblivious to this problem until one morning discovered in Ernest. Finally, after hours of thorough examination I have become a suspected carrier too.

Last night after all the psyching the process of making my parents happy begun. I thought it wasn’t going to take long but Jen was determined to save me some strength. Sampson’s legend was strong in our minds. After five hours I have become a new man. It is amazing how much dirt one can live with so close to his skin for such length of time. I don’t feel any more integrated, and at our local shop I have had a conversation of regret (the shop assistant though it was regretful to be more ‘integrated looking’). I am thankful for Jen for keeping me some strength to carry on.

The truth is, some time ago I have said, aacually when I started the new blog in Hungarian of life in Oulu, that I already feel gone. Testing Sampson’s legend was a planned event for July, when we are already in Oulu. It is life’s sweet twist to bring events forward. Shall I feel I am gone from Szeged; it is time than to act accordingly. It is a new beginning. You shall not be fooled by this blog’s name, Szeged, is history

May 15th

We are moving back to Oulu soon. It’s becoming some kind of an obsession now. We have had an argument about cardboard boxes. It is unsettling to give up all our stuff to let someone else drag them halfway across Europe. We cannot deny being control freaks. It is weird when we are told with admiration how easygoing parents we are. I am not at all certain considering this above mentioned insecurity. Or maybe I am just jumping to conclusions, another trace of the local culture. But careful, I shouldn’t be stereotyping things too much.

While yesterday we were busy going out, today we were busy staying in. Ernest slept through doctor who waking at the final moments of the show. We could save face only by having doctor who confidential at hand as well and we watched that with him. They say it was a wonderful episode with Tardis personified. It wasn’t, not for the significance of the episode.

I went to our local tesco supermarket in the outskirts yesterday. Had to pick up a couple of things there. At some point I was weighing a bag of frozen beens in my hand wondering how much it could cost, you see, there was no price tag for this particular type (cut green beans). I couldn’t figure out but I had the brilliant idea to walk back towards the fruit and veg section, behind it there is a barcode reader. It wasn’t there. I was puzzled then I realised that in our local Prisma in Oulu used to be a barcode reader behind the fruit and veg section (it may have been moved since the whole things was being rebuilt a year ago when we were coming here).

mostly useless piece of information: in places where there is central heating for the area (like neighbourhoods wiht highrises) tonight is the last night the heating is on. as of tomorrow the heaitingseason finished.

May 14th

I was going to start with saying that it is the final night before all attention can finally stir towards... but I then realised there are things that one cannot write in a blog. It is not a journal per se. There are things that one, a family better keeps private. Of course afterwards, should it come to that, I could always claim it is a partially imaginary blog of imaginary characters and imaginary events. I do have a history of that. It’s better untold though, if for no other reasons than for the dramatic effect of starting with such a paragraph. I will try to keep to that for the time being and I will move on to saying something after this mystical start to something else and meaningful.

I had a brilliant idea a couple of days ago. It was on Thursday evening before dinner, after my 5 hours shift at the school as a receptionist. Increasingly, after three, when most of the children are already gone and things are a bit more quiet I hang out on the playground chatting away with parents or the after school care assistants (the playground is right in front of the school so I can still keep an eye out, who is going in and out of the building). This last occasion I was talking with a fellow parent, or more appropriately describing the situation I was interrogated by a fellow parent about school systems in various countries. I could tell mostly of the Nordic, especially the Finnish and of course the British, especially the Scottish systems. They are considering of emigrating and the biggest concern they have is the kids.

In some aspect I had to have a laugh for having that as the biggest concern. Shows how inexperienced they are about moving to another country within Europe. Our experience is that the kids do fairly well so long as parents get over the culture and other shocks. Also, when it comes to school systems, if they are moving west and northward from Hungary, it can only get better.

I did my best to tell, in brief about emigrating, but especially being a newcomer, perhaps the strongest point I made was about relationship. Such move will not fix a dysfunctional one, in fact it requires a well-functioning one to be successful. Of course, most people I talk to about leaving here want to leave because of the environment which is still called the Republic of Hungary (till 1st January 2012). It turns out some 16 present of the adult population of Hungary (roughly 1 million people) seriously believe that the best choice in their lives would be to leave for good).

So I had an idea that we should start up an enterprise, a small company training, advising, coaching people on emigrating and immigrating to a new host country. At dinner I sat staring into nothing for a minute chewing my food and came up with yet another idea and started to laugh out loud. To a puzzled Lili and Jen I explained that once we settle down in Hungary for good with this immigration coaching enterprise we could also set up an export business sending meat delicacies to all these places where we have been sending people. To this Jen has added that with the same trucks we export food we could also ship people’s belongings when they are moving. We set for life.

A few minutes later Lili mimicked my conversation starting strategy; chewing her food, staring into nothing, laughing out loud. On our inquiry she presented a story from school, something they were playing. A seven year old telling a story that is funny for a seven year old while both laughing and eating in the process just left us clueless. Anyways, she was entertained and somehow so were we.
But this place has a sad history of emigration and I have begun to wonder about the actuality of this history. Of course most European countries throughout the 19th century were places from where vast numbers of people left and Hungary is no different. It’s easy to assume an economic reason for emigration back then although I am not always convinced that is the sole reason. When poverty stops being the primary reason is post WW1. During the dictatorships of the 20th century in continuous trickles but also in waves an incredible number of people left or fled. I think the biggest exodus took place in the late 50s after the uprisings in 56 when the borders were left sort of open on purpose and some one million people ‘slipped’ west.

Now so many ‘real’ Hungarians want to get rid of some parts of this society, preferably by forcing them to leave. they would be happy to see the Roma flee. Yet I have the feeling if this sentiment doesn’t change and especially if general values and processes don’t normalise in the society in few years’ time another mass exodus shall take place and it won’t be the poor and disadvantaged leaving, there is no new promised land like in the late 19th century. It will be large chunks of the middle classes. After… there will be no mercy for those who stay behind.
I usually look at worst case scenarios, it is a cultural trace I carry still. But I believe that many conformist here when feeling they cannot confront the situation but also not willing to comply will leave.

Less depressing things.

We have seen a book the other day on the sale: How to tame your toddler? A typical DIY know it all book. We didn’t buy. This morning I wiped the table with Ernest. Literally.

He has a bad habit, some of you maybe know already, he likes to pour things. From his perspective it is not a bad habit at all. Liquid, volumes, vessels, gravity make fascinating experiments. Now he knows we watch. And he notices when we don’t. This morning he spilled the jug of water on the table, on Lili’s book too. So I laid him with his back on the table and soaked up the water. Maybe I shouldn’t tell you about this. He was screaming. I changed him into dry clothes straight away. Maybe I over reacted. After facing our highly politically not correct commentary on his pouring a carton of juice into are bad next time he only poured it next to our bed. He does understand only choosing to disregard.

Maybe I should feel comfy telling this. All parents have their inappropriate moments. And usually they don’t define our relationships with our children. In the afternoon we managed to have ice cream without anyone screaming. That was a development for example. Usually Ernest screams and we rarely know why. It’s weird. With ice creams there is always an issue.

Lili spent the afternoon moaning how hot it was and surely it was, but if we always complain about the weather conditions than we never actually not complain about it and I don’t like that. It’s very local.

We had a talk a few days ago about hoarding things into bed at night. She has a bad habit of it. I told her that she can take one thing at a time. This issue came up when Eszter (her teacher) recently sawn together the bear Lili knit. She wanted to take all the bears to bed that night. Since I noticed that she is according to agreement only takes one bear a night and it is always a different one. As we agreed.
I also noticed that the ones that make it to bed don’t leave next morning. As of tonight, all bears are on sight. How she fits in the bed I don’t know.
And finally, on the moving front.

Not the front that is moving but we are moving and that has a front. Let’s rephrase. Finally, on the topic of moving. Before I confuse myself
the car business has been completely finalised. All paperwork is through.
The car cost a little under 700€

All the paperwork (not counting insurance and yearly car owners’ tax (this last to be paid later)) 260€

The beauty of this is that my mum who is also just recently bought a care for roughly 12260€ spent also 260€ on paperwork (truthfully less because we also had to pay 30€ for changing the number plate). No further comments

One more

When Jen is writing essays also using the net and I am too lazy to read or sleep or go for a bath and wash my hair I blog. What kind of person that makes me