May 16th

I am writing with some degree of guilt. It’s… actually hard to speak of it, but I suppose I need to say, to be honest and straightforward even when carrying the guilt equivalent to that of a true nationalist’s when betraying his country. I started another blog, in Hungarian I thoroughly enjoy writing it. I am in fact very excited about it for it is a new chance, another horizon to explore with a largely different set of people, even if there is some overlap. I am excited to non-politically write politics, Hungarian politics to people I usually bit concerned of offending when saying things straight out without a blog. But it also feels like I am starting another family parallel to this and of course while I am aware that it isn’t a real family, not in the traditional, nuclear family sense the history of… I am just blathering, perhaps wanting to show off. Sorry. I know love cannot be split only multiplied.

Ernest and I had a conversation on the phone today. It was a first one. We were right next to each other though. He loves phones but he will not talk to anyone on them, only imagine talking to someone. Today I was using both skpye and the phone to take care of a list of things that required phoning people. Mostly official stuff. He wanted a piece of the action so with the headset on my, hm, head I called the phone which he was imagining to have a conversation through. It was exciting. Than I helped him to ‘pick it up’. After some time he went along with the idea of talking so we did.

We started packing today, I think you think it’s soon, month before we go, but as proven it is just about time besides, the sooner we are packed, the more relaxed the actual hectic parts will be. The children handle it differently. Liliom dressed up as a cat. Ernest started packing too. Didn’t want to listen to Jen that should he pack his favourite cats into the boxes that will be open again in August only he will not have those cats.

Generally, the kids seem content though so long as - in front of them – I don’t get into the packing with Jen (they follow me around and stand in the way). I actually feel happy about it. She has experience you know. When we moved to Finland I was already in Finland when she had to pack up everything on her own. When we came over here I had exams then I took off for a week just before moving leaving her with the stuff. Maybe I should just let her handle it this time as well. I wonder what her comment will be.

Of course I am not being true here, I do keep busy with all the paperwork, money matters, organising, phone calls and blogging.

May 8th

No photo blog. Didnt go to the zoo today. I must have lost my touch of Scottishness: The all day rain bothered me, didn’t like the ida of spending too much time outside. So we were at home, the highlight of the day was probably a pillow fight then a fry up for lunch and an afternoon snooze. Liliom was bored beyond measures. She seems to have forgotten how to think.

In the evening I had a go at her which turned into talking about leaving. She is sad to leave for leaving her friends here behind. There were tears, in numbers. Jens asked her if she was scared of something going back to Finland to which Lili answered in the most matter of fact take no nonsense voice ‘what should I be afraid of?’ kind of are you mad tone in her voice.

We do have to make sure we are better at keeping touch this time around with friends here, at least her friends. Unlike with the ones in Oulu, although we knew we were coming back there. We know at most we will come to Szeged for visits. Altough I must have reminded her that while I spent the first 20 years of my life living in the same flat going to a total of 2 diferent schools and a daycare for 12 years hanging out with the same 2 sets of people through these institutions and another set through my parents’ friends, with not one I keep in touch today and call my friend. So potentially there is a possibility that moving about leaving people behind is not that big of a deal.

However, we did realise this morning that while w ehave planned to regularly skype back to Oulu, we never really did and it was really stupid. Oh well
Another small matter , the car. I mentioned when buyin a car here 3 things one needs to do;

a, get a mechanical check to make sure it is the car that is says on the papers
b, get an insurance for the car under the name of the new owner
c, go to the local gov. administration office to change the owner’s name on the car’s papers.

Logic says that one should do a, c, b,
At a, in person and at c, on the website plus various help you get trhought this websites say to do a, b, c,
The car insurance people tell you to do a, c, b,

Suggestions?

It’s interesting that in real life pillow fights rarely ever happens that the pillows burst and there is feather everywhere.

March 14th

Recently I have been getting some kindly placed feedbacks that sound something like this ’reading nice life in Szeged is good...’ And accustoming myself with the stats page on blogger I realise it is true, people do like to read fun stuff, not so much not so fun stuff and politics definitely puts many of you off. It has been a difficult week and there have been some difficult experiences. There is politics and considering tomorrow’s pompous display of central European nationalism to come…
But lets not get ahead of ourselves.

We put Lili on the train on Saturday afternoon with some classmates of Jen, my sister was waiting for her on the other end. She is spending a four days long weekend at my mother’s. Just as well, the rest of us aren’t the greatest company. I wouldn’t go into Ernest’s case now, that is for another time but I got ill too on Saturday although I managed to sleep it out within a day and Jen has fallen ill as well. It seems we picked up the bad stuff somewhere along the way.

Still recovering but letting Jen have a rest Ernest and I went for a walk yesterday afternoon. Only a week ago it was around minus 10 in the mornings and we were happy if it was above zero in the afternoon now it gets up to 20 on the sun during the day. Even easy-going fellows like us are still perceptible to put on too much clothes when going out.

After the park Ernest decided on going to our regular café but now sitting on the terrace. On the street down at the end of the square an ambulance screamed by. It was the ‘new born special unit’. I had to fight off my tears. I was still in a messed up state.

After leaving our regular café we started walking home walking by the other café, on the corner which I just call ‘the café on the corner’ although it has a ‘proper’ name too. The terrace was full and the waiter was not so gently trying to help a man away from a table, I noticed it only a moment before the man toppled over the waiter and fell on the ground so I couldn’t have told if there was any ‘grievance’ between them or it was a genuine accident. He fell hitting his head on the stone, the waiter walked away hurriedly.

Shocked instantly, with Ernest sitting on my arm I was the first one trying to help, he was lying on his back. Only had time to try to see if he could understand/hear me and wonder for a moment why am I the only one there, how will I turn him on his side as he was losing consciousness. Fortunately a paediatrician – as I later found out talking to her – came and helped me with the move and as the waiter was coming back around, delivering orders and taking new ones we asked him if they have called the ambulance yet? ‘ah, no.’ he said ‘we called the cops’. The two of us practically yelled at him to call an ambulance.

I could do nothing more but I was shaken. I stood around, clinging to Ernest, feeling weird. I’ve never been looking into to eyes of someone who was slowly drifting out of consciousness. I watched the waiter. He was working, he was stressed, he was stressed already with work and he was stressed for what has happened. Eventually the paediatrician told him to wait for the ambulance where the fallen person was (she was rude, not gentle in her request, she was right although the manager of the café was nowhere to be seen to take charge). When the ambulance came he rushed back to work. The terrace has at least 50 tables, a busy day, only the two waiters.

I went into the café and told the manager to give the guy a break, he most certainly needs it. The manager just looked at me with big eyes, unable to understand what my problem might be. I walked off.

A brave new world it. On a Sunday afternoon a man falls on the street and the person who has been the closest to him when this happens, I am convinced an accident, does not have time to stop, think, help. I am sure the customers could have waited ten minutes. I am sure, I want to be sure. But no, he didn’t have the time, perhaps he didn’t have the will either. Maybe he knows this drunk, not paying for his bills, he has had enough. Maybe he pushed him a bit.

There was an atmosphere at the ‘place on the corner’s terrace. As if that man has not deserved empathy for he didn’t belong there, he shouldn’t have come there, a semi-homeless drunk and crazy Christian whit his silly little gypsy blessings written on scraps of papers. He deserved his faith…

Ernest and I went out for a walk again today. I wanted to go for a walk while he was asleep in the morning but since his recent sleepovers he wasn’t so keen. He heard me quietly getting ready and I could not go undetected. So we went together. More or less the usual route. We had cheesy treats today instead of the ginger biscuits.
We also saw the local communist party gathering for the pompous nationalist celebration. (more on that tomorrow). And we met him. He was there, with the communists. But then he seemed to have gotten bored of them and walked off. I approached him and we had a chat. Through me he now knows how he ended up in accident and emergency. I appreciated the blessing even if… but let’s not have a discussion on believes. ‘do take care of yourself!’

empathy

February 11th

 

Jen has been pacing a journey recently, and I suppose she still is about blogging. She is finding it difficult to move away from status updates into blogs. She claims she can express wisdom in a sentence or two. It's a very finnish mentality. All that talking some others do may not come to saying much. (saying this after i have been neglecting blogging / saying much/ for nearly a week – but I have my culprit, my scapegoat in Ernest for depriving me of precious sleep and another in the deathly UN course and yet another in school politics. (this last one especially shall be revisited later shall I not tire of typing.))

Perhaps it is best to start a new paragraph.

Types of blogging... hm, perhaps some are just ways of small talk. I can't do small talk. I blog small talk or at least I try. And here I shall thank Jen for helping me to think about blogging; a kind of aims talk, thinking. Of course I could turn around and curse her for showing me the parts of my blogger account where i can trace number and origins of hits on my posts. However, I was complaining about no feedback and tracking your audience perhaps is a active form of seeking feedback. Best to let go.

I intended to go for walks in sandals for footwear this week but i oalways only remembered once out on the street. It was warm. Had a chat at the school some two days ago with one of the teachers about the time being ripe to start wearing sandals and she thought I was kidding. No I wasn't . In Oulu I am usually the first one but now I am increasingly concerned that because of my lack of paying attention to it someone will beat me to it. Naturally I will be able to hide behind the fact that in Oulu sandals happen in the last week of arpil at the earliest which is still far and that is way I am just still too wintery in my thinking but still, there is apparently serious competitive spirit in me and in this most important are of life I will not be last! Or second even.

I remember on Sunday we went for a walk and it was warm enough no to wear hats (it was warm enough for sandals too I think, now). Ernest was utterly confused. He just really didn't want to accept it. 'you go out, you put you hat on!' goes the mantra, can't imagine how it would be in Oulu. Although there this mantra is there year around. They just give a different reasoning for the kids.

Ok, I run out of steam... to be continued