May 7th

Owning a car keeps one busy. Yesterday Ernest and I took it down the local autoclub to have it checked out and get some papers with which we can get some more papers to then get the papers. While waiting on the mechs to do their job we gone for a walk, after the playground we nipped into Szeged Plaza, by far the largest shopping mall in south-east hungary. around the size of Stockman downtown Oulu. We were thrown out of the sport shop, in fact not allowed in because I had a backpack and weren’t willing to give it up. Never mind that we were the only shoppers in the sportshop probably due to the early hour while there was a security guy and two other shop assistants on duty besides the cctv. regulations are regulations.

We spent the rest of the day with shopping. Ernest slept trough the market for which I was thankful, was not up for chasing him around there. We also spent the day in anticipation of the Scottish election results and following the news of the UK results somewhat, mostly the referendum.

We parked the car by the way, fairly early yesterday and haven’t bothered with it since so my opening statement isn’t so true for this last couple of days at least
Liliom has the habit of jumping of her bed far as she can onto a matrass and some giant inflatable coushin. Ernest copies her although he hasn’t gathered the courage to actually jump yet. Probably due to the relative weight of his head. He still gathers their duvets and pillows right next to the bed and after dutyfuly counting to three, as seen from Lili, he steps out of the bed onto the pile.

Last night we had some wine celebrating the Scottish election results. Although I am cautious to celebrate the SNP. The interesting development is there nevertheless. I believe if we cannot just yet do away with the state, at least government should be brought closer to people and the smaller a state is the easier this task can be. For me it’s about locus of control.

In the UK people generally voted down the idea of a more representative electoral system. The argument to support such decision that through a more proportional system (the current first pass the post is one of the least) there would be a greater chance for a ‘hung’ parliament and coalition governments that are unstable and yara yara.

The past four years the Scottish government was a minority government (which is an unimaginable notion in Westminster) yet this gov managed to now gain such an overwhelming swing of seats that the SNP controls more than half the seats in Hollyrood. This has happened in an electoral system which is practically designed to prevent it.

The arguments against changing the UK voting system are false as in Westminster there is an unstable coalition government contrary to the disproportionate electoral system and in Hollyrood there is a majority government contrary to a far more proportional system. Maybe voters voted the proposals down cause they annoyed with the Libdems, but surely; punish other, smaller parties?

Looking at the developing political culture in Scotland I came to realise that unlike most central europen countries Scotland will go on its separate way – prob in a couple more elections – once it’s ready, it has a tradition of a democratic process well developed. A culture of parliamentary politics.

I wonder if a political tradition is a reason for the no vote on the referendum now. A more proportionate representative system would get parties such as UKIP into Westminster in numbers. And look at Finland to see where does that get you. What if that seemingly idiotic no was a very well calculated no?

Naturally, I am critical of it nevertheless. Even bogyman nationalist must be confronted in a dialogue (ok, this is told by me who half the time runs away from such confrontations) but more importantly, here comes the Marxist, maintaining the status qou benefits the structure that is already in power; economic, or corporate fascist. They are only really a step away from hard liner nationalist and nationalist-fascist, besides, in the current system the electorate is also robed from choosing someone else. In such system many probably just opts to take the least worst, as the result of the referendum shows.

Tomorrow we should go to the zoo or something like that, take plenty pictures – if we find the camera – and have a photo blog entry. It takes a lot more composition to write photo on electoral systems

Ant the whole point mentioning the wine was that being drunk after the second glass I realised that I have dropped my thesis topic. Looking for a new one. Then Jen told me that she thinks I have dropped my topic quite some time ago and only my stubbornness kept me on it but she didn’t want to say, just in case now I don’t quite remember what.

15th March

This afternoon once again I had the opportunity to watch someone drifting out of consciousness. Although if I am honest I of course have to admit that he wasn’t exactly drifting out only but also drifting into another one, into dream world. And it was a real pleasure to watch. I think in many routine, daily rituals I have forgotten to appreciate their beauty and use the occasion to move on, do something else while… but every now and again it is nice to anchor back to the reality of that other person.

Ernest used to go to sleep on his own, even for day naps. He now proudly walks off to bed in the evenings and changes his mind only once or twice banging on the door. Day-aps at home are different. Once he gets really tired he would prefer to lie down on my lap, his legs tucked under my arms, his head balanced between my knees not quite rolling of either side, not quite hanging down but not resting particularly stable either. He used to be more relaxed about the posture but his recent experience with the Hungarian Health Care system (HNHS) made him a bit more fixated on these details. He would fall asleep like this while I read the papers (this would be news portals on the net), read some other article on the computer or perhaps play a game.

I watched him drift away to dream world today. Perhaps recent experience called me to pay more attention, don’t know, it could also be a case of Jen using the computer and I couldn’t be bothered to reach for a book.

In the morning, we were still in bed, just resting, relaxing, contemplating if we should get out of bed at all. It was the last morning before Lili is coming home, school starts and everything is back to normal. Ernest have been up for some time. He was hungry so I have provided him with some snacks. He kept bashing bread into our faces demanding we share his food. Eventually he got it, we weren’t hungry and it pissed him off so much he threw the whole thing in the corner. Than he sat down and pulled his socks off with a face ‘you called for this!’

He knows we prefer him to have socks on, it’s a bit cold for the feet otherwise. So he wanted to hurt us by removing them. But he is a very organised and decent rebel because after taking his sock off he carefully put them back in his clothes cupboard making sure they are easy to find for later use (once they feet will start getting cold).

But I was going to write about the big pompous celebration today. Some 150something years ago there was some kind of a revolution – there have been a whole bunch of them around Europe that year – which in Hungary turned to be longer war. The canon says it’s an independence war but I consider it more a civil war. (of course my perception is not that of the nation state, after all I look at WW1 as primarily not in inter-state but an intra-state war, a civil war as well between different classes within given societies)

It’s a big thing! People walk about with the tricolour pinned to their chest all day, some even does it for days before. I have quit doing it 16 years ago, my motivation wasn’t that of the conformist ‘don’t get into politics’.

But it’s a big day, even the prime minister has given a speech, and they say he really pulled out all the stop. Apparently he told the European commission to go and f#”k themselves, although he may have used slightly different wording. I bet you he enjoys all the pompous nonsense. He believes in some crazy stuff, they have a lot to share with Cameron. I couldn’t decide which one of them I would prefer. Probable neither.

Lili asked me today what do people celebrate. I had difficulties answering. It’s a ritual of the state to craft and make-believe an imagined community in order to get people to do things in the name of and for this imagined community that otherwise they wouldn’t do in their right mind. She claimed she understood. We went to the park then.

Yesterday, when I saw the communist party gathering on the square I wanted to ask them how can they match communism with displays of nationalism. It’s a question that could have been asked of those regimes this party is a remnant of. But I didn’t ask.

Day of the Dead,

There hasn’t been an all saints day since we have known each other with Jen that I haven’t lit a candle in the evening as a small act of admitted ancestral worship from my side. I still remember my days in Denmark thinking how really i was getting into ancient practices and all the stuff about shamanism – which by the way I still associcate with on some level for so far shamanic way of thinking (pre-pagan if you like) is probably the oldest and most honest form of social constructivism. Back then I seemed to take it far more seriously, rediscovering something that reaches far beneath than what I can contemplate, disconnecting from my roots and past... hm... and practicing rather traditional and everyday forms of ancestral worship.

So far in this blog, supposedly about Szeged i managed to offend just about anyone and everyone. Mostly for my unabashed criticism of nationalism and the idea of nations. The trick is always finding the line, to be drawn to separate practices from one and other; this is culture, and that is nationalism. Ancestral worship, although I do not know how common it is around the Carpathian Basin all together I am pretty sure it is particularly Hungarian and is a cultural characteristic that easily slips by the eye yet is particularly uniquely Hungarian. Some ten years ago leaving everything behind I took this with me. In the last thousands or so many years neither Catholicism, the Reformed churches nor the nation state project has managed to ‘touch’ it.

Where to go from here than? Not a clue. I don’t think it really matters but I am pretty sure surprised. Especially that I am in it. About a week ago I was in Budapest and so I decided to go out to the cemetery where my grandmother was buried. It was that time of the year. And of course there is the candle every year. Well, some belief claims if you ever in a desperate need for an honest advice you shall ask you own death for it is just about the only thing in the universe that will be truthful at all times. Thinking of that talking to the dead, who have had some more subsequent dealings in the death department, besides, they also at least wouldn’t care to lie, may be altogether a good idea. But the more interesting lesson perhaps is the one about culture. It’s in the guts. The bits that you don’t notice at all. The rest probably is acquired luggage.

Stargate Universe

Staying at my mother’s place outside Fot near to Budapest we have been contemplating the issue of Americannes of contemporary Hungarian society. There is probably a lot more to it than our surface examinations make us realise this but there are some aspects that probably resemble a hint of reality.

Such would be the desperation of central European societies to truly belong to so called Western Europe, culturally, politically and economically while there is also a desperation to retain a distinctive character that is – here for instance – Hungarian. All this manifest in what we may call the European integration, the great project of pan-europeannes spearheaded by the very entity of the European Union. An entity that is inherently corporatist (as there is no public space within the EU for pubic politics, the people per se).

We were driving everywhere from my mother’s big house and big garden, a relatively isolated rural suburb because the nearest bus stop one would have found 2kms away walking on a dirt road under the beating sun pushing the buggy in fine sand. Once we got to the road we soon could reach the ring road and a fine numbers of malls and mega markets. Once we have drown on the highway to get an ice-cream. It felt what I would have imagined feels like living in a North American suburb.

How Stargate Universe does come into this? No, we didn’t find a stargate in the sand between the highway and the house. The issue is more subtle about societies’ desperate attempts to retain cohesion of some sort through nationalism whatever the price may be and propaganda enhancing such projects.

The bunch of SG personnel, civilian and military for months has been desperately trying to survive as castaways on the ancient starship Destiny millions of light-years from Earth, no hope of ever returning home. An interesting scenario of a small community, yet an entire society being born, an excellent set up to deliver what good sci-fi produces; a critical view of today’s society.

The intriguing enterprise took on somewhat of an action genre when the Lucian Alliance sent a team of warriors to take control of the ship. They are humans too but a ruthless syndicate concerned with power and profits nothing else, not allied with earth. They took over the ship and dropped of most of the SG crew on a planet where they would not have survived long but with some cunning plan the ones remaining on Destiny got them back and the ‘good guys’ won of course. Now they were left with the trouble of what to do with the band of warriors unworthy of their trust. They selected a handful handsome and clever ones to take on while dropped of the rest on another uninhabited planet capable to support human life (somewhat). However Destiny’s crew could not share any equipment with them so they were left with nothing but the clothes they were.

All this is well somehow; one could under certain circumstances justify acts incomprehensible otherwise. The starship travels on and episodes pass. Most undisturbing though is the lack of follow up. Nobody spares another word for those most probably left to die. As if they weren’t human beings or never existed. As if they deserved a treatment was unfair on them. As if the SG crew is morally right to call such judgments just because they had a the moral high ground (originally) as somewhat peaceful explorers and scientists. Thus the how presents us with propaganda: if against ‘us’ you are not one of us, we are people so you aren’t.
A similar story is the over hyped issue of building a Islam cultural centre in downtown New-York. Some argues it shouldn’t be allowed because it isn’t like a Christian centre would be allowed to be built downtown Riyadh. Which argument may be misinformed anyway but that is beside the point. Taking the moral high ground than arguing that our morally inferior opponents deserve the same treatment as they morally inferiorly would subject ‘us’ to really does destroy that moral high in fact it exposes that it never really existed. Best example of such propaganda is ‘24’ where the main character has to torture people in order to be able to save the day. He laments about it for a couple of minutes that has a good torture. Putting the same morality on screen doesn’t make SGU propaganda but what does is the lack of dialogue and debate. There appears to be consensus and the issue is of the topic thus propaganda is born. Probably completely unwillingly and unknowingly but nevertheless.

And how shall I turn this toward Szeged? The recent Local Council elections.
The governing party in the country is called ‘Fidesz MPP and KDNP’ or something like that, and this is just the shorthand! Now Fid rules the parliament with a vengeance and the democratic process has become almost less a façade than it used to (in post democratic states). After the local elections they are happy holders of majority of council seats in most local councils especially so in bigger towns and there may only be 2 bigger settlements where the major is in opposition to the central gov. Szeged is one of this place. The people have voted wrong. In another town, Esztergom the council is contemplating on stripping the new major of pretty much all her rights as a major because she is also in opposition to Fidesz, the people voted wring there too. Ruthless logic of exclusion, supporting propaganda provided above.
I wonder sometimes, if I watch TV I should not bother think about what I see… anyone else?

‘So how does it feel to be home?’

We have been in Hungary for over three months now and countless times the question, in some form or other has came to me. Yes, really, how does it feel to be home? Well, I have a social network, friends among whom I feel comfortable to be myself. I am in no need to reorganise my life according to a new and unfamiliar environment. My kitchen feels mine and comfortable. I have established patterns of shopping and a regular and comfortable routine. I feel comfortable and I don’t feel a need or pressure to comply with norms that I long have forgotten or never even been familiar with. In a nutshell: I’m homesick… when I think about it. I say ‘It doesn’t feel like home here, not anymore’ thinking honesty is the best way forward but it offends others, or so I was told on one occasion. It is offending that I ‘don’t feel’ Hungarian anymore. Which I never said to anyone but apparently when Hungary does not feel like home really means that one is not Hungarian.
Polite, friendly, welcoming and inquiring conversations potentially turn disappointing when I am honest and virtual bloodbaths when I say another word. The nationalist attitude, discourse is overwhelmingly present in people’s thinking. I am Hungarian therefore I am at home now. Lili is my daughter therefore she is Hungarian and her lack of experience in using the local language is a defect to be concerned of. I know without much context these statements seem an overreaction but it would be impossible to sum up the last three months in a few words.
An old friend whom I met again during the summer has made a curious statement which at the time passed without much notice but recently it came into a different understanding when I read a brief article about an old man’s struggle with the authorities regarding his passport application. My friend told me our life was like one ‘you can read in the papers’ and there was this similar story in the papers.
Our story that could have been in the papers is the story about Lili’s passport.
Before coming here we though it might be a good idea for the kids to get their Hungarian passports, to make life easier. Now we know the can only immigrate as Hungarian citizens but at the times we were oblivious to this. We started the process in February, through the embassy in Helsinki. We moved late June and things were not looking good yet although Ernest was lucky to get his passport sometimes late July. Lili’s case is far more complicated because she is over 5 years old and her parents were not married for over 2 years when she was born. Why these two points make the process far more difficult I cannot know because the law states if one of a person’s parent is a Hungarian citizen he or she is automatically a citizen. All that is needed is a proof I thought of my citizenship, which a passport should be sufficient enough to do and a proof that Lili is my daughter.
Trying to settle down and register it is impossible for Lili to go through the administrative process for Hungarians because she doesn’t have papers proving she is Hungarian. I cannot issue a statement to help her obtain such papers because the office cannot understand a birth certificate issued in English therefore I have no proof of our family ties. Never mind the fact that the Republic of Hungary issued a birth certificate for Ernest written in three languages, one of them English. So Lili cannot be recognised as a Hungarian citizen.
At the immigration office where next we tried to register her living here as a British citizen we were told that as it is written on her – remember English language – birth certificate that her father is a Hungarian citizen she cannot immigrate here as she is a Hungarian citizen. Consequently they can do nothing for her.
Now we are awaiting a translation of her birth certificate, it seem to have disappeared somewhere in the machinery of bureaucracy. And consider ourselves lucky that she has social security and health care cover from Finland. Bless Kela! (Hah, this is something I never imagined saying.)
The above story illustrates the attitudes that live in people’s concepts of Hungariannes. It’s kind of an idea where there seem to be so many, many Hungarians. They are everywhere, across the borders, brothers and sisters and all this crap. Than comes the actual count. Quickly turns out that a Hungarian from over the borders is barely better than a none Hungarian if, better at all. Perhaps for language’ sake when employing them paying unfairly low wages.

I have intended to begin writing about Szeged long before we have even set foot here. I wasn’t sure about my intention, I played with some ideas of turning it into half-way fiction and I also thought of just keeping it simple, everyday. So far none of this has happened. Overcoming some long and lately developed fear of the keyboard now eventually started ranting. I am still unsure on the next step, maybe it will remain so for some time to come. Perhaps I shouldn’t intend to write what has led to this moment when the blog entry is written and I should just provide a snapshot.